Often, I have come across the latter more than the former and I can’t stand either of them! A good example is this irritating, annoying auntie (no, no, not really my auntie, I just call her auntie because she acts like one) whom I will call Mandy.
She is in a higher position and have the power to lord it over me (at work only, mind you) so she takes every opportunity to play it to the max. The reason? Probably to feed her own insecurities, I guess.
One of her pet peeves with me is her constant nagging (see, I told you she is like an auntie wat…) about my not answering my handphone whenever she called. After office hours. And my handphone and handphone line is paid for by my own money not the stupid kedekut company. So, I am always tempted to tell her:
Blardy Eff Off Already!
Too bad, since I still need this job, for now, I can’t do that. However, this frustration of having to endure her crap and nagging have given me ample opportunities to come up with witty comebacks to irritating superiors who nagged their subordinates to answer their handphones.
These are what popped into my mind when I am darn pissed off with Auntie Mandy (who is single, by the way) :
1. Why don’t you shove that offending handphone up your crack, you menopausal half-wit?
2. Why should I answer your phone call when I have suffered enough listening to your whiny droning during office hours?
3. Why do you need to call me after office hours? You mean your vibrator died on you or what?
4. Look, I fully understand that you have no life whatsoever but the rest of us, and that includes ME, have a life!
5. WTF is your blardy problem anyway? I only work here, I didn’t sell my blardy soul so leave me alone!
6. I fully understand you are undergoing menopause but that is not my problem so why don’t you Eff Off already?
7. It’s my phone and if I don’t want to answer it, you can’t do anything about it!
8. Oh yeah, well, at least I have a life and you are only full of hot air!
9. And I should answer your call because…..???
10. If you have an emergency, why the fuzk are you calling me? Do I look like a police/ doctor/ gigolo/ psychiatrist to you?
Feel free to use any of this phrases but please, don’t come whining to me if you lose your job. I am not hiring anyone and I don’t care.
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