Don’t you just hate it when jerks come up to you with snide, unwanted sexist comments or worse, ultra lame pick-up lines?
Well, you don’t have to simmer in silence as you have every right to give it back to them, tenfold! Here is a list of ten witty comebacks to annoying jerks:
Jerk: How about a date, you beautiful thing?
Comeback 1: I’d rather be a nun and get eaten alive by piranhas
Comeback 2: Sure, when’s your funeral?
Comeback 3: Sorry, you deserve someone better than me…after all, you are the King of Jerks
Comeback 4: What? And ruin my image for life? No thanks.
Comeback 5: Sure, let’s make it at 2500 hours on February 30/ April 31 / June 31 / September 31 /November 31 .
Jerk: Women belonged only in the kitchen and at home… (or any other similarly sexist remarks)
Comeback 1: Oh yeah? Men like you belonged in the ‘feed the piranhas’ club…as the food.
Comeback 1: Oh yeah? Men like you belonged in the ‘feed the piranhas’ club…as the food.Comeback 2: Of course, just like how men should stay in caves and use a club to hunt for food.
Comeback 3: And people wonder why women became lesbians when there are men like you
Comeback 4: Your wish to have a bigger dick must have backfired because I could have sworn you had became one instead!
Comeback 5: Congrats! I think they found a cure for stupidity, no, wait, sorry, I forgot that you are beyond any cure.
I have more of where those came from but be patient, I have to keep it for future blog posts…can’t be posting it all in one go! Whatever am I gonna blog about in future, huh?
Anyway, it is quite frustrating when faced with jerks and idiots like that and at the spur of the moment, you don’t have an appropriate reply to wipe that sneering smirk off his face. So, the ultimate, all-in-one witty comeback you could use without having to remember a list like the one above is:
“Really? I absolutely do agree with you but are you sure your mother didn’t drop you on your head when you were a baby TWICE?”
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That is why I also became a lesbian.
Don’t entertain
Just ignore them
Why waste time telling?
Go mix with your crowd
Guys will try
Hoping somebody will respond
The approaching lines
They think it works all the times
Women aren’t lame swans
On the water don’t know how to swim
They know; they are independent now
It isn’t easy pulling a fast line
Education has blossom their minds
The guys know it is hard to try
Yet guys will do it
Playing innocence hoping the women don’t mind
Jerks you can ignore
Gentlemen better beware
The wolves in sheep clothing
When they hit women fall
Like bowling pins…….
if some one says bite me say where and how hard \
Nice, I like it.
Comeback 4 for jerk # 2 cracks me up.
A teenage bully says something mean or insulting so the kid replies with:
“I don’t think I’ve ever liked being talked to that way, and now I’m sure I don’t like. Stop.”
The bully replies with: “Oh yeah? Who’s going to make me?”
Kid steps closer: “I am.”
Bully tries to act like it was just for kicks: “Oh come on, don’t get so upset.”
Kid says: “You be cool and I’ll be cool.” Then walks off
Help! I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body!