So, let’s say you are darn pissed with someone who did you wrong. You want to get back at that moronic lousy excuse of a human being. What do you do for revenge? Well, if your answer is to beat the crap outta that person, you are way off the mark.
Why bruise your hands on that slime? More importantly, why risk being arrested for assault? Is that person worth going to jail for?
V for Vendetta is very good as a movie but we can’t be going around killing those who have wronged us. I don’t believe in letting it end so easily for people like that. It is better to let them suffer on in live than to release them with the mercy of death.
So, whenever I had too much time to indulge in a spot of daydreaming, I’d start formulating complex plans to take over the world…muahahahahah….at other times I think about the various methods of getting back at that idiot who dared cross my path and step on my toes.
Whether I actually go through with it is a whole new post which I will reserve for another day.
Here are what I thought of in taking sweet revenge in the name of vengeance due to a bitter vendetta:
1. Find out which car that idiot drive. Then stalk him till he park his car somewhere quiet and deserted. Force open the petrol tank cover and push a handful of sand, debris, tiny rocks and rubbish into it after siphoning off at least half the tank.
2. Call for all mega projects to be canceled in Penang…oh wait, that was the Umno’s move, sorry, got distracted, here’s the second step: Get the house phone number and if it’s a married guy, call in the middle of the night and started making obscene sexy noises if he picks up. If the wife picks up, ask for ‘My darling *insert name*’ and say how much you missed him and whether he is on his way to your place (this still apply even if you are a guy because it would work even better to have his wife think he is gay!).
3. Chew on a bunch of chewing gums and go near to that person from behind and hurriedly drop the wad on the hair while simultaneously ‘accidentally’ push the person so that he/she won’t notice that a wad of chewing gum is now stuck in his / her hair. If the person is bald, try the other methods listed.
4. If this person is a colleague, all you need to do is to wait for lunch time, go to his computer in his cubicle and then start downloading porno from his computer. Next, set the wallpaper with a porno pix. Make sure you are not seen doing this! Next, pass an anonymous complaint to top management about ‘someone’ downloading porno in the office.
5. Buy paint, go paint his car with the words ‘Loser’, ‘Moron’ or any other insulting words you want. Just do it while no one is around.
6. If you have a dog, go collect his poo and when no one is looking, dump it into the vent on the hood of his car. The smell will last for weeks and he won’t even know where it is from!!
7. Send him the most malicious virus/ worms you could find via email with titles you know he’d be tempeted to open.
8. Buy him a nice box of doughnuts / pastries. Before giving it to him, lace it all with double doses of laxatives.
9. Set him up. Hire some sexy hookers to go to his house when you know his wife is not around. Remember to instruct the hookers to undress the moment they are in his house and to fall all over him. You, of course, must be on standby to take incriminating pictures. You can send the pictures to his wife later.
10. Send your boss obscene, rude messages and emails using his account!
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oooorrrr….
do what my very pissed off supervisor nearly wanted to do to one of the salesman for parking at HER allocated parking lot:-
NOTE: I said she NEARLY WANTED to do this….so i dunno if this really works..
1) As u mentioned, put in force open the petrol tank cover and put in “rubbish” or water
2) Splash PURE pineapple juice onto the windscreen
3) Simply have a glue in hand..and paste newspaper on the windscreen and when it dries up…..not a very nice scene..
Hahah… i like idea 3! The fella will have a hard time washing out the chewing gum or worse he/she has to cut presious his/her hair! NICE!! wicked laughs
!
Every one thinks of revenge
Of people who make life difficult in one’s life
As it is life has many obstacles yet others wanted to spice it
Putting up obstacles and graffiti
In a way one feels good at a time
Revenge is sweet
Don’t forget the other party may do it back
Paying money to find out the culprits
It works in the long run………..
As revenge has no time limit
Just think about it
It never brings the good sleep
It riles up the mind seeking justice
Of your own kind…………..
I had seen it worked
In my former place in Penang
Punctured tires wheels missing
Scratches on the cars broken lights
Costing money to replace
What was the point?
The Boss held the ace cards
The employees got to follow orders
In the end who would suffer the most?
The Boss knew it was part of his job
He grumbled yet slept peacefully
Vengeance wasn’t his; it is God way of extracting it
Sometimes we need criticism to know
What we do and words we say
People have different perceptions
The ways they behave may not run parallel
Ideas and philosophy in different plane
It is hard dealing with human beings
This is one of the reasons of living
You don’t know anything
You think you know………
Racoon: I know the newspaper trick do work because my apartment guards always stick ‘no parking’ signs on car that park at non-parking areas and I’ve seen the car owners having a really hard time removing it!
Geek: Glad you like it.
Caravanserai: Lighten up. Thinking up revenge is not the same as going through with it!