I have a very hot temper and at times I really had to control my temper so as not to murder someone in anger. Seriously.
Anyone who knew me could attest to the fact that an angry Foong is not someone you’d mess with. And though I do not openly swear out loud like I often do in this blog, I could definitely pass very sharp, hurtful remarks. Trust me, when it comes to sarcasm, I am a regular pro. And yes, I scold and shout a lot too. And yes, I do practice anger management.
Perhaps I’m jaded or too cynical due to the many things I’ve seen and experienced over the years. My growing up years aren’t exactly easy peasy and all roses and peaches. Then out in the working world, I get to meet even more moronic annoying interesting people.
It is often that I’d lose my temper over the stupidity of certain people. Sometimes, I will let loose and shout at the person, other times, I had to control my temper because that is not the type of person you could shout at (example: some bumbling, fumbling, stupid politician making some discriminatory statements or worse, monsters-in-law).
So, what do I do to control the urge to grab the annoying specimen by the neck and bash the face in? Well, I was blog hopping around and saw Lilian‘s list and decided to come up with my own list of anger management or what to do in times of murderous rage.
Top Ten List of
What To Do to Refrain from Murdering Someone in Anger
(Anger Management)
1. Solve a complex mathematical solution in your mind, preferably the Add Maths type with loads of formula
- Nope, you are not allowed to write it all down on paper and nope you can’t use the calculator. You must do it within 30 minutes. And no, 1+1= ? is not a complex mathematical solution. Since I am lousy at maths, this works like a charm.
2. Go play with iGod
- This so-called intelligent thingamajig can give you really ridiculous responses. I had a chat with God a few months back and the thing managed to irritate me so much so that I forgot about my anger with the real-life annoying specimen. For those more religious and holey holier than me, don’t go there. Try talking to your real God instead.
3. Think up 101 ways to get rid of the annoying person and make it look like an accident
- Preferably by sadistic means and be as outrageous as you want. Just don’t act on it.
4. Use the Ridikulus charm made famous by Harry Potter to counter a Boggart
- For non-Harry Potter fans, this simply means imagine the irritating specimen in really ridiculous situations such as turning a straight macho man into a drag queen.
5. Plot your revenge to get back at that person
- but do not go through with it! Just plotting and thinking about it really do take up a lot of time and by the time you have the plot all properly lined up, you may have calmed down. This is because you have been using your analytical side of the brain and somehow, the anger would have metered out.
6. Look at comics / watch cartoons / comedy
- what better way than some slapstick comedy to distract the mind? Of course, you could always read comics like those from Cartoon Stock.
7. Go for a SPA session complete with manicure and pedicure
- some personal pampering will immediately take your mind off any irritating specimen in your life. Who could get all worked up when soaking in a hot tub full of rose petals?
8. Throw something
- if you are really, really angry and needed to vent, pick up something unbreakable and throw it real hard. You could try doing it in the general direction of the one who irked you but make sure the item you throw is not valuable or too heavy. No point denting a valuable thing or the floor because of that person.
9. Shout
- Yep, no point keeping it all bottled up. Bottling up extreme anger may cause you to blow up! Shout at the person if you will. If not, go to the top of a hill or any empty spaces (with no housing or people around or else you’d look really stupid and crazy) and really, really shout.
10. Take up kickboxing
- Nothing more fun than kicking and boxing a punching bag. Just remember to stick that person’s picture on the punching bag for a more effective workout.
So, there. Try these out and if these still do not work, there is always one ultimate weapon you could use.
Chocolates!
No, no, no. Not throw chocolates at them. I mean, grab a bar of chocolates and enjoy. To heck with the diet. But if you are not into chocolates, well, then, there is always sex. 
(No, NOT sex with the annoying person, sex with your spouse but if the annoying person is your spouse…too bad lar..you can’t be helped except through a complete anger management course)
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I failed my Add Maths so your first suggestion already tak boleh apply to me.
I give the cold shoulder and slam door.
And eat lots of chillies and next day, ok liao. 
lilians last blog post..Penang DAP/PKR/PAS State Government – Solve the traffic jams before naming the roads, can?
What that fuse of yours ok? If you’re not careful Working with idiots can kill you.
LC Tehs last blog post..02-09-crash-autoroute.wm
1.) let the air out of his tyres.
2.) if the annoying creature is a female, go and put super glue on the tiolet seat. Or at least go and pee on the tiolet seat.
3.) eat plenty of bake beans ans stand next to the bugger and fart. Hopefully of the smelly kind. Then laugh and run away.
4.) File a complain against that person for sexual harresement. It works in Malaysia. Just follow Saiful example.
5.) All else fails leave sexy sms on his phone for his wife/gf to read.
Lilian: eh, my add maths also fail wan lar. that’s y doing add maths sum can distract attention.
LC Teh: ya, that’s y sometimes I want to kill the idiots first before they kill me!
Engineer: LOL. Great list!