Sorry folks for the short silence yesterday. I was caught up with quite a lot of things and only managed to post the Permatang Pauh by-election results in my Penang Views and News blog and I hardly have time to post anything here.
The reasons for my extreme busy-ness is due to the usual stuff in life that had suddenly overwhelmed me and taken over my time. Trust me, I didn’t have the luxury to take a long cool shower but had to keep it to the minimal ’splash, soap, splash’, dress and run.
I am sure many new parents would understand what I mean. Especially when both parents have full-time careers outside the home and most days are filled with work, chores and running after the new addition to the family.
When my son arrived more than two years ago, our lives changed. We no longer had time for ‘couple’ things like movie dates, romantic dinners, sunset walks by the beach and yes, even sex. Eh, not that we didn’t have sex for the last two years lar. We are new parents, not celibate monk and nun wei.
So, what should new parents do to keep the romance burning, the sex mind-blowing, the couple-ness still going strong and hot as ever? Well, these are but a few tips to help you get out of the ‘Oooo…look at our adorab**yawn**le…ba*yawn*by..so *yawn* cute..definitely *yawn* worth….Zzzzz’ phase to the ‘Let’s be us today’.
1. Make time - ya, ya, ya. I have heard and used all the excuses you are thinking up now. You have to set aside time for the both of you. If it’s that difficult or impossible, put it in your appointment book and set a date like for a business meeting. Make darn sure you keep your appointment just like you won’t miss that business meeting. Heck, don’t tell me your spouse is less important than a business meeting?
2. Use technology - eh, if both of you are connected to the net in the office, there are plenty of online resources to keep you connected such as MSN, ICQ, Google Talk, Facebook or any chatting thingy. A note, however, just don’t send a ‘naughty’ love note to the wrong recipient. Don’t want to give the wrong idea to the wrong person, right?
3. Be a couple - by that I mean holding hands and going out on dates ONLY two of you. And not the whole family in tow. It is hardly romantic to be eating dinner with a toddler throwing food everywhere and a pre-schooler singing nursery rhymes. There are family times and there are couple times. So, make time to be a couple.
4. Get rid of the guilt - many parents inevitably feel guilty that they leave their children out when they go out on ‘dates’. Well, don’t. Think of it as investing your time to build a happier, closer, warmer relationship between both of you for the sake of the children. Children are happier when their parents are happy.
5. Be spontaneous - whenever the situation arises, be spontaneous. If you have 10 minutes free time before dinner time, grab your spouse to go for a walk and get someone (a friendly neighbour or an in-law) to watch over your children. Or after putting the children to bed, why not indulge in some sexercise in your bedroom? No need to plan it. ‘Jump’ on your spouse if you must but unless he/she’s in a horribly bad mood, I am sure any spouse is pretty game for some action in the bedroom. Just remember to use the right technics that your spouse likes! Eh, don’t ask me what techniques. I don’t know your spouse lar.
6. Talk - ah, I know. The dreaded four letter word. Men, no matter how much you despised the sentence ‘we need to talk’, it is usually quite important for the women to talk. Seriously. We are creatures that are pretty hung up on talking. If we are sad, we need to talk, if we are happy, we need to talk, if we are pissed off, we need to talk, if we are angry, we need to talk. Yep, I admit it. We women talk too much. But do remember, it is our way of communicating. You don’t like it, go be a monk or get a gay partner (who may also like to talk!!). And no, grunting and giving ‘yes’, ‘no’ answers is not talking. By talking, I meant intelligent conversation to exchange thoughts and views and opinions with your other half. This way, you will be able to continue building a closer relationship.
So, there. I hope this helps. Now, please excuse me, I need to jump on talk to my spouse. Heheheh…
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When you want to talk
The other party must listen
It doesn’t mean two should engage
Then nobody is listening!
Listening is a powerful tool
Most people forget easily
I listen more than I talk
In that respect I learn and know things
The power of understanding
In the giver and receiver
Somebody has to watch
Somebody has to make
Just like cooking
Don’t disturb the cook
Ideas offer menu suggested
When all things go
Leave the cook alone
In parenting
When a child is born
Adjustments will be many
Lovers’ antics and needs
It has to go the back seat
In child rearing
Sacrifices are many
So it is important couples know about it
It isn’t easy managing children
The bond of relationship
It will be tested with family
Good or bad it is the trust and believing in it
The parents must engage together
About children and their antics
Sometimes the sparks are gone
Too tired in work grumpy with the children
Running errands for the kids
It takes its toll on relationship
Yet when the bonding cemented in love
Trust and responsibility it will work
When odds seem to crack their set routines
Babies cry will somehow bring together
Parents will remember the sacrifices
Thank you so much, Sifu Foong, for the useful tips.
Will remember them, though, neither of us are jumping on each other, yet. HAHAHA!~
BC?
caravanserai: good for you. It is seldom that we can find a man who knows the art of listening!
BlurChu?: Eh, but u two looked like you ARE jumping on each other at every opportunity.
>_<
Really?!
BC?