My New Year’s UN-resolutions

So, this being the last day of 2008 and everything, I’m sure quite a lot of people are making new resolutions to keep up to. That’s so outdated. What’s the point of making new year’s resolutions that you are going to break anyway? So, instead of making more resolutions I know I won’t keep, I’m going make UN-resolutions. Here they are:

1. I DO NOT resolve to be nicer in this blog

2. I DO NOT resolve to go on a diet again which I will fail anyway so what I’m FAT, it’s none of any of those busybodies’ blardy business.

3. I DO NOT resolve to stay away from calling stupid, moronic idiots STUPID even if that idiot is from the Pakatan Rakyat.

4. I DO NOT resolve to watch less TVB series eventhough those are time wasters and are pretty much predictable after the third episode.

5. I DO NOT resolve to bake less cookies and cakes eventhough I’d usually end up eating most of it myself.

6. I DO NOT resolve to eat less chocolate (I’d DIE without chocolate to sustain me!)

7. I DO NOT resolve to be respectful to annoying idiots even if they are older than me

8. I DO NOT resolve to be less sarcastic ( that’s just NOT ME!)

9. I DO NOT resolve to blog less and yet I  DO NOT resolve to blog more either

10. I DO NOT resolve to be less of a bitch especially when bitching against certain morons

So, there.

Oh, and since a lot of young punks will be out on town tonight, here are some tips to add some excitement to your new year’s eve night:

1. Take a drive down Gurney Drive or Esplanade around midnight.

2. Stop your car and let the bunch of hooligans shake your car and spray your car with foam.

3. Better still, get out of the car and start dancing and jumping on your car hood just like the bunch of hooligans.

4. Stock up on a load of foam spray cans too and spray back at the punks.

5. Or if you can afford it, get some cheap beer and douse those punks with it and then get out of there.  Alternatively, you can also drink and drive and then challenge a traffic cop to test you for alcohol.

6. Want more excitement? Why not go get some illegal firecrackers and start lighting them and throwing them outta the window when you see a bunch of punks about to jump in front of your car, that will definitely have them jumping around like monkeys.

7. Too much excitement? Then, stay home and vegetate in front of the TV.

8. Want to watch the fireworks but don’t want to leave home? Ever heard of these new inventions called Astro and Internet? There are plenty of recorded fireworks shows on the Net.

9. Want to join in the countdown but don’t want to brave the crowd? Install your own sound system, switch it on, turn the volume up high and start counting down yourself!

10. Think new year’s eve celebrations are over-rated?  Then go to bed at 9pm sharp and continue to be the boring dweeb you probably are.

Enjoy your New Year’s celebration people!

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