Must be the stress so here are some stress buster tips

I have deduced that my throbbing, bursting migraine was due to stress. All those rushing about, baking cookies and dreading CNY has taken its toll on me. Not to mention the ever present deadline for my projects and the pile of work left untouched and staring at me accusingly. And my lack of sleep. Yes, you are right Caravanserai. And worrying over my incomplete work. About my neglected blogs. About my online work. About everything else I’ve not been able to do because I simply do not have enough time! Arrggghhhhh….this is what I call STRESS to the max.

So, I went searching for some stress buster tips and found that there are plenty ways to de-stress and get rid of my stress over things not done, work not complete, blogs not updated, emails unreplied, goals unachieved, chores incomplete, house cobwebby, CNY a-dreading, etc, etc, etc.

If you are stressed up and tied into a knot, just like me, from all the stress, here are some tips for you to wind down, reduce your stress level, perhaps even make you smile and be stress-free for at least a day or so. Or maybe an hour. Heck, maybe 10 minutes.

Here they are:

1. Read the news for the latest stupid laughable quotes by our ever brilliant minister Syed Hamid Albar. He has officially became the Parliament Jester with his moronic remarks and oh-so-brilliant quotes!

2. If politics is not your cup of tea, then go do some blog hopping. You can try Shadowfox’s hideout, it is damn hilarious. Okay, so it is not slapstick comedy but damn, that guy really do have very dry, dry humour and he will just blog about anything. If you are easily offended, stay away though and go to some other mild but interesting blogs like Foongpc’s first blog (no la, no relation to me at all. I swear. Really.Don’t believe, go ask him lor).

3. If you are stressed out over work, type out a resignation letter and tell off your boss for any injustices done to you. Let it be a no-holds-barred letter. Then delete it. Remember, DON’T send it unless you really want to resign.

4. Go somewhere public and crowded and start staring up into the sky with a puzzled expression. Get a buddy to do the same thing with you. Better still, start pointing and speaking excitedly. Soon, you will have practically everyone who walk past you to stop and try to find what you two are talking about!

5. Put on your favourite song and start doing silly dances to it. Really, really silly dances. Just let go.

6. Laugh hysterically at everything anyone said to you for the next hour or so. Even if it’s not funny. For example:

Someone: My friend is dying in the hospital…

You: Wahahahahhahahahahahah!

Someone: Errr…that’s not funny. I said my friend is dying!

You: Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Someone: You are cruel. What’s so funny about my friend dying?

You: Wahahahahahahahahahahahahah…*dooosh..down you go after a hard punch or a tight head-turning slap from the Someone .* How could being beaten up release stress? Easy, you are out of action, so no stress lor.

7. Start the ‘why’ game. Meaning, act like a five-year-old and start asking why to every single comment/ statement/ question/ sentence aimed at you. Like the scenario below:

Someone: How are you?

You: Why?

Someone: I’m just wondering if you are doing fine.

You: Why?

Someone: I just wanna know.

You: Why?

Someone: Because I am your friend and I want to know if you are okay.

You: Why?

Someone: Why what?

You: Why why?

Someone: Are you alright?

You: Why?

Someone: Look here, if you are going to behave like a child…

You: *quickly interrupt* Why? Why? Why?

Someone: *gave up and left in a huff*

Meanwhile, you’d be snickering away at the Someone’s annoyed and irritated expression! All stress gone.

8. Then, do a follow up to the why game with the ‘an den’ (and then) game. Meaning, after the sixth or seventh why, you continue with ‘an den’. Like this:

Someone: PAS won the KT by-election

You: Why?

Someone: Obviously the people there are also pissed with Bodoh Nothings.

You: Why?

Someone: Because of the way they run the country.

You: Why?

Someone: Because they are nothing but a bunch of corrupted morons.

You: Why?

Someone: Because they only care about lining their pockets and not about the welfare of the people.

You: Why?

Someone: Obviously, them politicians, especially the BN, are only out to fatten their own pockets

You: Why?

Someone: So that they could buy vacation homes in Europe, shop for helicopters through a catalogue with commissions for the purchase going to who-knows-where, build palaces for homes and have big fat huge Swiss accounts.

You: An den?

Someone: And then they become so filthy rich that when they are old and senile, they start spouting nonsense like boycotting everything American.

You: An den?

Someone: And then all of us remain poor and hard hit by the economic crisis.

You: An den?

Someone: And then the country falls because the nobody in the top leadership is really bothered.

You: An den?

Someone: And then, you and me, we starve to death without food due to no income.

You: An den?

Someone: Look here, what’s with all the ‘and then’ questions?

You: An den?

Someone: One more an den from you…

You: An den! An den! An den! An den! *smack, bang, doooooossshhhh* that’d be you hitting the floor after having your lights punched out by Someone.

9. Come here and read my blog! *Of course must promote my own wonderful, super great, super interesting, super stress busting blog lar!*

10. Or just salivate over my wonderful desserts…heheheh…of course, you can always go out and buy some stress-reducing high-calorie, high sugar, high fat, high-everything-bad dessert and stuff yourself silly. If not, do it the calorie-free, sinless way, just stare at the pictures above or in my food blog. Good enough lor…I know food is not an answer to stress but dammit, I DON’T care. Give me some wonderful chocolate truffles anytime and I am happy.

p/s: yes, I made the colourful butter cookies, the dark chocolate brownie, the CNY peanut cookies and the double chocolate chip cookie.

Disclaimer: Foong is not a psychiatrist and NOT a psychologist and NOT an expert in stress busting so, try these stress buster tips at your own risk and Foong will not be held responsible for any death due to added stress, any extra stress, any extra weight gain, any mental illness or even any moronic braincells morons out there (who may or may not be reading this) are probably born with.