When I saw an article of a conniving, lowly, lousy cheating husbands taking up an ad to apologise to his wife for his cheating ways, I don’t know whether to laugh at the total ridiculousness of the whole thing or to feel sorry for the wife.
Imagine, it is bad enough that the poor woman has to endure her husband fooling around outside but to have him proclaiming his infidelity in a newspaper for all to see? That’s a bit too much. It is worse than washing your hole-ridden ratty underwear in public. Heck, while he is at it, he might as well go to one of those talk shows and admit publicly to his many affairs and reveal every gory detail too.
Really. How moronic some people could be?
So, in view of the stupid way the man tried to apologise for dipping into places where he was not supposed to, here are my very own top tips for cheating husbands:
1. When you cheat, don’t use protection. Sleazebags like you are better off contracting HIV and dying from AIDS. Just don’t touch your spouse after having your fun outside.
2. Also, remember to pick up beautiful, sexy girls who are only after one thing just like you are after one thing. You want what’s between her legs but she wants what’s inside your wallet, money. Having such vultures suck you dry of all your money and put you in great debt is what you fully deserve.
3. Or you could choose the girlfriend of some gangster head to fool around with. If not, just go after the sister/daughter/mother/wife of a gangster head. After all, cheating husbands deserve no better than being beaten to death by some gangster group.
4. You could also be a cradle snatcher and sleep with underage girls. Remember to leave plenty of evidence of that so that you could end up in jail for statutory rape.
5. If your wife finds out about it, instead of taking up a half page ad to apologise, why not just dig out her heart with a blunt fork? It would be less painful for her.
Now, here are some tips for wives on how to deal with a cheating spouse:
1. Cook really, really good food just for him only. Oh, and remember to add A LOT of laxatives.
2. If you have supplementary credit cards under his name, you should really go on a major shopping spree. It is time to pamper yourself. Get the diamond necklace you have always wanted. Book an European holiday for yourself and your children. Give your whole wardrobe a makeover. Do anything you want just to max out the cards.
3. If you have a joint savings account, just withdraw all of the money and put it into your own personal savings account.
4. Don’t confront him or the mistress. Why waste energy and time on morons?
5. Don’t move out. Instead, pack his stuff, leave it outside and change the locks.
Now, if the cheating husbands think that an apology will suffice to make everything okay again. Think again. There is no valid excuse whatsoever for cheating on your spouse. Once you cross that boundary, there’s no turning back. It is the same as murdering someone. If you killed someone, a mere apology will not bring the person back to life.
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“1. Cook really, really good food just for him only. Oh, and remember to add A LOT of laxatives.”
We call this “giving people the shits”.
Affairs of the hearts
It never brings happiness
It brings misery of love lost
Of a relationship turning sour
There is a hole now
It will be hard to patch it up
Saying apology in many forms
Diamond rings stalk of red roses
The shine has gone in lover’s eyes
How can a person live knowing the truth?
The partner has strayed gone overboard
There will be explanation or it is lie
It will happen when the urge arrive
There is a hole now
It will be hard to patch it up
When trust and love gone
The suspicious mind sleepless nights
It will be hard to forgive and forget
When couples facing marital problems
The affairs of the hearts
When young and old collide
There is a hole now
It will be hard to patch it up
Even through repentance
The shadow lurks in the background
That guy’s name is not Mr Ong is it? Didn’t he also made a video as well?
Show everybody his tiny weenie, not shy one ah?
Before I was born God gave me a choice, either a big dick or a good memory……I forgot which one I chose……kekekeke
Engineer, I want to ask you a question la…… but I think you forgot the answer oredi….
Momo…..looks like we both got the same problem.
engineer: shitty people like dat only deserves to be given the shits mah…ahh…that explains why TH is so forgetful…although I wonder why you are forgetful, you must have been greedy and chosen both so you got neither…wakakaka..
Caravanserai: infidelity will always break a marriage so once a partner has cheated, you are right, it is not possible to patch it up again.
Momo: that’s what happens lor when he was greedy and wanted both a big dick and a good memory. End up, both pun tak dapat.
Oooooouch…you’re one tough Mama to deal with
Seriously though, a man can have his cake and eat it too as long as he does it with the woman he swore his allegance to. Too many ppl get hooked up based on “settling/desperocity” instead of truly finding the one for you…this is partly why there’s so much cheating.
Also, most ppl aren’t first happy with Self so how can they possibly be happy with anybody else?
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MSB: I agree that a lot of people do just ‘settle’ when they should be looking for ‘the one’ and in this dog-eat-dog world, nobody is truly happy with themselves anymore.
I don’t wanna get too metaphysical or philosophical here, but knowing yourself first is key. This is why most of the ancient cultures had some sort of “rites of passage” before men could even get a mate…you have to be tested to know what your own self is made up of first
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BTW: I just submitting this post to the various social networks under the username “Infopage”:
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