It is an UP time so tighten your budgets NOW

Bankruptcy rates are going up.

Job loss are going up.

Prices of things are going up.

Costs of living are going up.

So, it is really an up and up time and the only things going down are:

Income due to pay cuts

Business opportunities

Job opportunities

Affordability

Standards of living

In order to survive these challenging times, we should really tighten our budgets and take steps to weather this storm. In order words, save money, cut down spending and try to live through this period unharmed. In order to cut down our expenses and save more money, here are some:

Tighten your budget tips

1. Cancel your gym membership – go to the nearest condo near where you live, sneak in and use their gym. If not, ask around and see which of your friends live in apartments / condo with gyms and ask to use their gyms. If not, ever heard of public parks with FREE outdoor gyms like our Penang Municipal Park (youth park)? If not, forget the gym. Times are bad, you probably won’t have enough money to eat so…no money=can’t buy food=not enough food=lose weight=no need gym

2. Cancel your broadband internet and learn hacking – easy, learn to hack into your neighbours’ Wifi and use their internet connection. If not, there’s always Starbucks. Just remember to sit outside and not inside or else you may need to fork out RM10 and above for a drink to be able to sit there for hours. If not, use the office internet to the max lar. Pretend you have OT and then use it for your own purposes.

3. Reduce your water bill – this one very easy only. Wake up early and bring a change of clothes with you and your toiletries. Shower in the toilet at your workplace. And shower and change before you go home. If not, go to public park like the Penang Municipal Park where they have proper bathrooms where you can shower in comfort. If not, write down a long list of friends and each day drop by a different friend’s house to shower with the excuse: ‘my pipe burst so no water today’. For water to drink or cook, go to a fire hydrant and ‘borrow’ water from it lor.

4. Reduce your electricity bill – don’t watch TV at home, nothing much to see anyway. Don’t switch on the air cond, just walk around naked AND don’t switch on the lights because if you are walking around naked at home, it is best you do it in pitch darkness. Unless of course you prefer to walk around naked for others to see and record and then forward through MMS to the whole wide world.

5. Don’t buy newspapers and magazines – those are full of crap and rubbish anyway. Absolutely pointless. However, you can always get the FREE copy of The Sun to read if the need arises. Or read news online at free WiFi spots.

6. Don’t buy clothes – you can always sew back the holes in your pants, the tear in your sleeves and re-dye your faded clothes. And try not to outgrow your clothes. If not, go to your BFF’s house and exchange clothes with her for fun. If a guy, go pinjam some clothes from your dad / brother lor. Just remember to always pinjam the nice, new ones.

7. Don’t eat out – homecook food is always the best and I’m sure everyone love their mom’s homecooked food so this is a great time to go home to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper everyday. Your parents won’t leave you out to starve wannnn…If not, make a list of friends and invite yourself to their place to eat, a different house each day. If not, learn to cook it yourself lor. 2 minute Maggi mee isn’t all that hard lar.

8. Don’t go shopping alone – the best way to shop effectively is always to go with your parents and let them pay. If not, go with your boyfriend / girlfriend and pretend to slot in an item or two and then let them pay. If not, don’t go at all lor. Stay home and enjoy the darkness.

9. Don’t go for facials / massages / spas / manicures / pedicures / haircuts – ever heard of DIY? Why pay hundreds for something your could do yourself? If you can’t cut your own hair, then let it grow lor. Nothing wrong with long hair wat, including for men.

10. If all else fails, move out of the city and into the jungles – go find some cave deep in the jungles to stay in. No need to pay TNB, no need to pay water bill, no need to pay rent, no need to pay mortgage, no need to pay any bill. Some more got free lose weight diet plan because you will be out whole day searching for food and if you can’t find any, end up eat some roots and leaves and fruit. It’s a sure win-win situation. No bills, no worries, plenty of fresh air, plenty of greenery, loads of roots and leaves and fruits to eat, no need to buy clothes too because you can always use leaves and tree bark, no need for cars because you can walk, plenty of exercise, easy to lose weight and no money worries at all because animals and plants don’t need money.

Now, what are you waiting for? Go tighten your budget.

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