I tried. I really, really tried.
But.
Damn. Won’t those politicians just quit? Nowadays, reading the news is akin to watching some long drawn out bad quality, horrible dialogue, worst than horrible plotlines drama series.
Seriously.
First, there’s the whole furore over nude pictures of an assemblywoman. So, now, is it a crime to sleep naked? And what about nabbing the culprit who took those pictures as this is obviously outraging her modesty by taking those pictures without her consent. And no, I’ve not seen those pictures. What I know, I gleaned from newspapers, blogs and whatnots.
This whole nude picture thing is obviously another dirty political ploy. Why else would some stupid idiot say it is immoral and that the person involved must resign? Er, hello. Why is it immoral to sleep naked?
Never mind that we are going into a recession. Never mind that thousands are losing their jobs each month. Never mind that many are falling under the poverty line. Never mind about all that. What’s more important to those damn politicians now is to smear their political nemesis’ good name using such underhanded dirty tricks.
But seriously, naked pictures of a sleeping woman? Really. These people need to learn a trick or two, and I mean really effective ones, in outshining their political nemesis and ‘destroying’ their political enemies.
Let me, Foong the snarky biyotch, show you some tricks, you amateurs:
1. Nude pictures are SO passé – use lar pictures, recordings and video clips of politicians swearing colourful four-letter words in the august house, using obscene hand gestures, making racist remarks, making sexist remarks, sleeping in parliament, in secret meetings with the frog-hopping people, acting a total fool, etc, etc. Oh wait, there are plenty of these eh? oh right. I forgot, most involved are those in the Bodoh Nobodies party…
2. Actually work and show them up – yes, work and service the people like you are supposed to and be better at your work than your enemies and definitely your enemies will lose out to your hardworking-ness. Oh right, I forgot. The word ‘work’ does not exist in their vocabulary.
3. Keep a close watch on your enemies and report any genuine slip-ups or conspiracies – use the truth to hurt your enemy and there’s no way that it will backfire, ever. Oops, again, I forgot. Those idiots don’t know the meaning of telling the truth.
For more tricks, stay tuned to this blog because I want to move on to more serious business and don’t want to list the whole ten tricks now. Next topic….
According to the grapevines and gossip-vines and such, I heard that there’s a death threat against our CM. Hmmm…I wonder why?
Didn’t they know it is really pointless?
I mean, we DO have a Cat Minister…err…I mean Chief Minister who’s into CAT. SO. Don’t you know cats have nine lives?
No point assassinating the CM since he has nine lives and all. Probably another plot by a bunch of idiot politicians with barely any brain cells.
Again, here are some tips on how to get rid of annoying cats:
1. Water – cats are really, really scared of water so flood the state if you must and you will be rid of the cat you hate.
2. Dogs – they are pretty good cat-chasers but get those good working dogs or else it’d be pretty much pointless.
3. SPCA – they have been known to spay cats and dogs and put them to sleep when they get to many. So, why not send the cat you hate to them?
And why hate cats anyway? They are pretty useful for:
1. Mousing – they chase away all those nasty mice
2. Lizarding – okay, so, I know of some that really do catch house lizards for fun but not all do this.
3. Pampering – that is, you pampering them and not the other way around.
But remember, as much as cats seem clean and nice and all that, they also:
1. Have toxic feces that could kill unborn babies of pregnant mothers
2. They cough up messy, disgusting furballs
3. They shed fur everywhere and scratch whatever damn surface they like and act like it is not their fault at all.
What has cats got to do with the death threat and the CM? 
Read between the lines lor…
Next topic…
Depressing reads…sigh, I seldom check out Malaysia Today (just could not be bothered much nowadays) but today I went in and read this depressing post. Poor RPK. Facing the possibility of ISA again all because he dared to voice out.
See? There is a reason why I decided to steer clear away from political news in recent times. Just too blardy depressing, stupid, frustrating and annoying.
Nuff said.
More from OPFoong
- People going nude in protest against cars
- I hate the phrase ’till death do us part’
- The looming economic crisis in Malaysia
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Malaysia is facing it’s biggest challenge since independence. It is facing a recession that will be deep and prolong. The Government is not admitting to it just yet but all the writing is on the wall.
In a matter of months the DPM has been forced to revise his GDP growth from 5% to 3% and now to 1%. I wonder how long before he will admit that GDP is negative.
Bank Negara has cut cash rates by .75% and the latest news is starting to emerge that the country’s billionaires have had their wealth very seriously reduced.
Newspapers are starting to report tens of thousands losing their jobs and exports have declined very significantly and foreign investment have all but dried up.
Our major commodities (palm oil, rubber, tin & oil) prices have fallen by more than 50%. Companies will be reporting major losses very soon. Already the Bursa is down by 40%.
What the DPM is not telling the people is the country is in serious financial difficulties and the budget deficit is getting out of control. Originally based on a GDP growth of 5% the budget was already in deficit, now that the GDP growth has declined to 1% the Government’s revenue will drop significantly.
The cake has shrank, thus any stimulus package has to be funded by debt. Given the current global credit crisis Malaysia’s traditional sources of loans may have dried up. The Middle East is facing it’s own problems.
As yet no one is admitting that the Malaysian Banks are in crisis. How much longer can they hide the facts. Already Ambank’s Australian parent the Australia New Zealand Bank (ANZ) has written off more than 50% of their investments in Ambank.
The current international accounting standard of “mark to market” means the banks have to value their assets according to what they are worth at current market vakue and not historic values.
With economic conditions getting worse and falling company profits, growing unemployment and destruction of personal wealth – underperforming loans MUST and surely will go up. Banks will be squeezed for liquidity and worse still the bad habit of Malaysia banks not telling the truth will make it hard for them to recapitalise.
Things do not look good but there is still time to fix things but it will take a committed and transparent Government to do so.
Do you think the BN or an alternative Government has the necessary credentials to do so? I don’t think so. I think the economy will get worst and I see hard times ahead.
O the economy!
Only Harm Noh and Bee Anne sleep
Telling pack of lies
The economy fundamentals are strong
Nothing to worry about
The flute silently blowing
The sad tune whispering in the wind
Ten of thousands losing jobs
Over 300,000 Malaysians home in April
From Singapore she can’t take it any more
Yet Harm Noh and Bee Anne
So busy to run own errands
Political assassinations and bullying
The back alleys politics so good at it
When financial breakdowns looming
These Harm Noh and Bee Anne leaders
They don’t really see it
Maybe they have the wealth in store
They don’t think about the people at all
The King message in Parliament
His Majesty should reign in Harm Noh
The royal command should take from there
The royal message no walking the talk
So we will see
The negative impact in the economy
The CAT gets so scared about water
We don’t see the light as yet
Aiyoyo…. all these makes me want to run out and get myself a big slice of chocolate cake and some fried chicken!! Anyone coming along??
Momo: chocolate cake?? I can do better. I’ve a pan of fresh baked chocolate brownies!