Recently I was a long chatting session with a buddy of mine who happened to be single and carefree and we talked about dating. Okay, so, he’s not all that carefree but he is single and available and a bachelor in all sense of the word. (ncb, if you are reading this, I did warn you that I’d blog about it!!! 
)
Anyway, my friend was asking me for tips and advice on how to get a date with a girl or to be precise, a stranger in the shopping complex. I don’t know about KL, but in Penang, many women are still pretty conservative so having some strange man coming up to them and asking for their number will definitely make them:
a. turn and walk away real fast
b. glare at the offending man and tell him to get lost
c. scream blue murder (or sexual harassment) and start beating the man up with her ten tonne handbag.
Well, that’s what I told him and he despaired that he won’t dare to approach hot pretty girls if they react like what I said. So, after thinking about it, here are some tips for guys to get a date with a girl who is a total stranger:
1. Join some cupid club thingy – they charge a minimum membership fee only and the strangers you meet at their functions are all susceptible to being asked out.
2. If cupid club is not your thingy, join some NGO that is predominantly full of women (I don’t know which one, go find out yourselves lar, haiyo, give tips some more have to give full details meh… 
) – the female members are pretty friendly with other new members and if you contribute your time a lot, you may even meet some nice girl during the events and functions and ask her out.
3. If you can’t get into any NGO or too lazy to bother, you will really need to approach girls at malls and some public place – here’s how you approach them. First look at their body language, are they the friendly type or the hostile type? (Wei, I can’t teach you how to read body language, ‘kay? You will need to learn by opening your eyes and OBSERVE!) If friendly type (they are usually the ones who do not have arms crossed on their chest with big huge frowns on their faces), catch her eye and flash her a smile. If she smiles back, then you can approach her and say something general like ‘Hi, are you waiting for someone?’ (just so that you won’t have a jealous boyfriend breaking your neck before you could say excuse me) and then make small conversation.
4. What NOT to do after approaching a girl – DO NOT eyeball her like some lecherous ah pek. Keep your eyes on her face AT ALL TIMES. She may have big huge heaving breasts or legs up to her neck but if you want a piece of action, then keep your eyes off them. And yes, if you stare at any parts of her body except her face for even a few seconds, you can consider her history as she may just walk away. Most women nowadays feel damn offended to be treated like a piece of meat.
5. What to say to her – NO lousy pick-up lines like ‘I think I’ve died because I see an angel before me’ or some other shitty crap like that. PUH-LEZ. Those are just so corny and uggghhh..totally ridiculous. Be intelligent. If you notice her drinking coffee, you can start a discussion about the best coffee in town. If she’s using a certain brand of handphone, talk about the special features of the phone. If not, just ask her what she thinks about the latest blockbuster movie. Most importantly, let her do the talking and you do the listening. What is most important is that you be as natural as possible and ask pertinent, not-too-personal questions like ‘where are you headed after this?’ or ‘I’m going for a cup of tea/coke/ drinks, do you want to join me?’ or ‘the mega sale is starting, are you going anywhere particular to shop? I know there’s this boutique that is offering 70% discount…’ (Everyone knows the way to a girl’s heart is SHOPPING! – okay, not all girls, but most girls)
6. Stay away if she said she is waiting for her boyfriend. She may still be single (as in not married) but you just don’t want the whole mess of some burly muscle-bound hunk turning up and beating the crap outta you. You never know.
7. Don’t ask for her number. Instead, give her your business card with your personal number. This way, if she is interested in you, she will call you. If not, it’s best you move on to next target. No point wasting time because if you do call her, she may not pick up at all. In case if she did give you her number, DO NOT call her more than twice a day. In fact, do not call her every day. Once a week is good enough and keep it to thoughtful, cutesy SMSes throughout the week. e.g. ‘Good morning! How are you today? It’s such a great day today’ or ‘Hi, how’s work today? Mine sucks but never mind, it’s payday!’ or something inane like that. Oh yeah, that doesn’t mean you can send 10 SMSes to her in a day. Keep it to once a day at most or better still, once every other day. You don’t want to end up as a stalker.
8. How to ask her out – no, you don’t do it the first time you see her. The first time is to make a connection, to get to know her. Then once you establish a connection and exchanged numbers, then you keep in contact as a ‘friend’. Do NOT appear desperate. Act cool, as if you are just delighted to have her as a friend. Then after a week or so of your SMSes and one or two telephone conversations, you ask her out. For tea. Yep, tea breaks are so informal and she won’t suspect that it’s a date at all! She may think it’s just hanging out having tea with a friend. Which it is. You use that time to really get to know her and chat with her.
9. During the ‘tea date’ – bring something thoughtful for her. NO, not flowers. It’s not really a date, remember? But if you must, you can bring a stalk of long stemmed red rose tied with a red ribbon. Or else, bring her something else, like a keychain you bought from some country you visited a while back or a fridge magnet from another state or even a coffee mug with her name on it or even a small soft toy keychain. The ‘gift’ have to be unique and yet not so expensive that she may not want to accept. And remember to talk to her and get to know her during the date. If you can get a long quite well with no long uncomfortable silences during the whole time, then it’s safe to say that you can move on to a real date. If you two remain uncomfortably silent throughout, then you better stick to being friends first till you are both more comfortable.
10. Go for the real date – after a few more ‘tea dates’ or even ‘lunch breaks’, then it is time to move on to the real, full blown date in the evening. Now, you really need to pull out the works. Flowers is a must. If you can afford it and happen to know her size, buy her a beautiful black (or any of her favourite colours) cocktail dress (ask the shop assistant to help lar!) and send the dress to her days before the date with a brief note:’I hope you like this. See you on Saturday!’. Bring her to somewhere she has mentioned before or you know she will like. How do you know? Well, all those tea dates are meant for you to ‘dig’ information from her such as her likes, dislikes, favourites, religion, etc, etc.
Still can’t get a girl? Here’s what you should do next:
1. Get rid of all the men in this world so if you are the last man on earth, you will get plenty of girls. All the women in this world, actually.
2. Shave, move to a monastery and become a monk or priest.
3. Pay RM10k for China-mari (or even Vietnamese) brides – beautiful, fair and young.
4. Become gay and act very girlish – girls feel safer with gays so they tend to be friendlier and nice to gays.
5. Go for a sex change and become a lesbian (Eh, Engineer, sounds like your kind of person!! 
).
For further tips, email Foong and I shall charge you RM10,000 per professional *ahem* advice.
p.s. the pictures aren’t really related to the post but I just feel like adding some flowers to this post…hhmmm…I wonder why…
More from OPFoong
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- A word of advice to cheating husbands
- So, you want to be a stay-at-home mom
Dates
On the trees on the streets
Moving slow lose the game
Moving fast you don’t waste
We have 24 hours a day
Nothing more nothing less
Look on the premise
Want to get married want to play?
When the plan is decided
Let the game begins
Go for the familiar grounds
The place you feel confident
The smell you like it often
Moving on to the unfamiliar terrain
Sweating palms losing speeches
So practice front of a mirror
Until it sounds so naturally
Sometimes be a stalker
One can win the date
Like the case of a postman
He sent thousand of letters
Finally the woman married him!
Persistence and enthusiasm
It never fails to break a woman’s heart
It goes to with the guys
On the first contact all will be shown
Like a peacock showing it all
You want a date isn’t it?
Playing cat and mouse game
The chase will be gone
Nowadays women and guys don’t waste time
Go with the flow or forget it
Move on to another
Of course there are timid ones
Hiding behind staying at homes
Match making is the norm
Quickly pick one and hope the best
You want to get married or play?
This is the question before starting the game
And the means to go for it
Wheels, king’s face, credit cards
And a mind to win the date
i need a guy that is honest and trustworthy. i dont believe in soulmate for me as long as hes true to hes words then i guess thats all i can hope for.
be friends:
shybaby