Sweaty, sweaty days and ways to cool down

The heat these few weeks are stifling and horribly sweaty. I sweat when I sit down. I sweat when I sleep. I sweat when I am sitting right underneath the fan. It’s like sitting in the fire pit of hell…

So, why don’t I switch on the air-cond you ask? Well. Think about it.

The heat and haze is due to global warming. Global warming is caused by what the experts would call greenhouse effects. And in layman’s term, it means, all those bad-for-environment stuffs that we do are causing this unbearable sweaty heat. This means…

1. I switch on air-cond, I contribute to the heat.

2. I throw away plastic bags, I contribute to the heat.

3. I don’t recycle, I contribute to the heat.

4. I don’t practice car-pooling, I contribute to the heat.

5. I do open burning, I contribute to the heat.

6. I commit unforgivable sins, I end up in the fire pit of hell…errr…oops, this is way off topic….

And so on.

That’s why I didn’t switch on the air-cond just because I am hot and sweaty. Besides, it’s very expensive to switch on the air cond. I don’t want to be paying higher electric bill just because of some sweat.

Instead, I could suggest some other less environmentally damaging measures (and cheap too!!) …

1. Be naked at home (but make sure your curtains are in place and you are not flashing your poor neighbours and passerbys..however, if that turns you on, what the heck, you are after all in your own home…)

2. Place a block of ice behind your table fan and let it rip…ahhhhh…that’s what I call home-made cheap air-cond.

3. Fill up a bottle of water and freeze it. Then, wrap it in a thin towel and hug it like a hot water bottle, except that it’s a cold water bottle.

4. Fill a bottle with a spray nozzle with cold water. Then spray it in on your neck and face regularly. Nothing like a wonderful cool spritz of water. (it works better if you are naked…)

5. Jump into your apartment swimming pool for a cool refreshing soak in the water. Whether you skinny dip or dressed in your swimwear is entirely up to you. If your place doesn’t have a swimming pool, easy. Go over to a friend / relative/ friend’s friend place that has one.

6. Go to the shopping mall and sit there. After all, shopping malls are already air conditioned so you are not the one directly contributing to the global warming. You are only there to enjoy what they provide for free.

7. Go to work and stay in the office till late since most offices are also air-conditioned (but you don’t necessarily have to actually work, you could goof off by surfing the net or something).

8. Go to places like Starbucks and McDonalds with your friends. Since your friends will be getting drinks, you don’t even need to get any drinks but ask from a cup of cold water and then sit there and enjoy the company and the air-cond.

9. Stare at this picture long and hard and tell yourself, ‘I feel very, very COLD’ repeatedly.

10.   Have some fun sliding ice cubes on your body or better still, get your spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend to do it for you….but be prepared that it may lead to some..err..extremely ’sweaty exercise’.

Go try these cool down tips and enjoy yourself…if all else fails, migrate to north pole and move in with Santa Claus (if he exists at all..haha). I am sure it’s still freezing over there and no H1N1 there yet (I think)…

Now, excuse me while I go search for some ice cubes…

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