What do you do when it's Monday and you are depressed?

Why, you take MC, stay home and watch crap on Astro the whole day long…hahahah…just kidding.

I think at least 90% of the work population hates Mondays and I don’t blame them. After spending weekends lazying at home, not doing anything the boss say, going back to the office being a ’slave’ is pretty depressing. Heck, I feel like that each time I start work after having two days off.

So, what do you do to dispel the depression that comes with Mondays?  Here are some pick-me-ups you could indulge in:

1. Start laughing hysterically at anything and everything -  they say laughter is the best medicine so why not just laugh it all off? Example:

Someone else: My father just died

You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Pissed someone else: Hey, I just said, my father DIED. What’s so funny about that?

You: HAHAHAHAHAAHAA…I didn’t say it’s funny, I am just expressing my condolence with some laughter…HAHAHAHA..*urggh..gakkk after being punched by the someone else**

2. Drop by the newsagents and pick up some silly comic books or if you are too cheapskate, pick up some newspapers. Turn to the comics section and read it all.

3. If you bought newspapers, use the remaining pages full of the crappy lousy political one-sided news and ridiculous ads to fold boats, cranes, airplanes, etc. It’s a good time to practice your origami skills. If you didn’t buy any newspapers, then use any pieces of paper in the office.

4. After folding your boats, cranes, airplanes and whatnots, start playing with them. For example, write boldly ‘IDIOT’ on a paper airplane and then aim it at your boss’ room and then let it fly. Remember not to do it in plain sight or else you may lose your job. Then, go to the toilet and place a paper boat in each of the toilet bowl.

5. Hate traffic jams? Easy. Bring your hair dryer with you, park somewhere and walk to the busiest intersection you can find that has some bushes for you to hide in. Then, hide in between the bushes and peek out every once in a while and aim the hair dryer at the drivers. Oh yeah, remember to dress in dark blue clothing and wear a cap.It’ll be fun to look at the faces of the drivers when they spot you.

6. Hate traveling on public transport because of the crowds? Easy. Eat a whole load of durians and onions. Remember not to gargle your mouth. Then burp every few seconds and the crowd will give way almost immediately.

7. What’s the point of working on a desk job with a computer and internet connection if you don’t make full use of it? Just surf the internet, play games on Facebook, watch movie series and remember to be quick to hit the red X when you see the boss walking by.

8. No internet connection? Easy. Upload your arch enemy’s picture, then use Paintbrush to modify it any way you like. Defacing your arch enemy is the greatest mood-uplifter ever.

9. I’m sure you must have received one of those scam emails telling you they are the wife / daughter/ son/ husband of some rich person who died leaving them a fortune but they can’t take the money out so they need your help to deposit the money in your account. Well, reply to that email telling them that you were also left with a huge amount of money but you need their help to take out the money. Then re-send the email like about 100 times. Or more. Then subscribe to thousands of porn sites using their email addresses. It’s a great way to get back at the scammers and have some fun too!

10. Call a random phone number (but NOT the police, fire department or hospital) and started talking to the person who answered the call as if he/ she is your lover. Example:

The other person: Hello?

You: Darling, I miss you so much.

The other person: Who is this?

You: It’s me. Don’t you remember me? How could you do this to me?

The other person: I don’t know you, you got the wrong number.

You: How dare you! After such a wonderful night we had last night…

*CLICK* the other person hung up.

Never mind, you can always call back and bug the other person till they switch off their phone. Just remember to use an encrypted phone number or use the public phone.

Now, of course, if you think the above is just way too much work, you can always do what I initially suggested…fake some illness, take MC and stay home watching crappy programmes on the TV.

Have a great Monday!

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