I am either becoming way too paranoid or becoming even more morbid than usual. Nowadays, I’ve been having really, really dark thoughts. And no, it’s not about killing anyone or anything. That’s normal.
Nowadays, whenever driving, I’d think thoughts like…
1. Some big huge lorry will hit me and I’d die
2. Some careless, reckless driver will hit me and I’d die
3. Some stupid animal ran across the road and I swerve to hit some tree and I’d die
4. Some UFO suddenly fell out of the sky and squashed my car and I’d die
See? Isn’t that morbid? And in each scenario, I’d be half-dead, rushed to the hospital where they managed to save my baby but I won’t survive.
And then, if it’s not accidents, I’d have these thoughts instead…
1. I’d catch H1N1 and die after they perform emergency C-sect to save my baby
2. I’d be going to some work function and being pushed by blind fools where I’d fall into some deep, dry drain and crack my head and go into a coma and then the doctors perform emergency C-sect to save my baby and then I’d die
3. I’d fall off a flight of stairs, go into a coma and then the doctors perform emergency C-sect to save my baby and then I’d die
4. I’d collapsed due to low blood pressure and low blood count (which I have currently), go into a coma and then the doctors perform emergency C-sect to save my baby and then I’d die
Yes, in each of my morbid thoughts, my baby will be saved and I’d end up dying. I wonder what it means? Perhaps its just my maternal instinct in wanting my children to be okay and that I’d choose to die instead of letting them suffer. Or I am just way too morbid.
Or perhaps, I am just overworked and thinking dying thoughts for no simple reason. Or maybe it’s just time that I draft a will, no? Now…if I were to draft a will, it should go like this…
I, Foong, confirm I am of sound mind when I draft this will to leave my personal assets and liabilities to these beloved people:
1. To my husband
- if he remarries within a year of my death, he will be given ALL of my liabilities especially all of my UNPAID, UNinsured debts.
- if he remains a sad widower for at least 5 years, he will be given 20% of my private stash of savings
2. To my son
- he will be given 35% of my private stash of savings and all of my non-chick-lit books and half of my jewellery which he can keep and give to his future wife
3. To my daughter (soon to be born)
- she will be given 35% of my private stash of savings and all of my chick-lit books and half of my jewellery
4. To my in-laws (who will obviously be celebrating)
- they will get nothing but nightmares from me for at least a year
5. To my father and siblings
- they will each get equal shares of the residue income from my online business until it is no more
- my father will also get 5% of my private stash of savings
6. To my evil sis-in-law
- she will be given nothing but nightmares from me for at least 10 years.
Hmmm…looks like I don’t have much assets eh? Oh well, since I currently have more liabilities than assets, I guess I don’t really need a will eh?
Talking of which, I better go check my EPF nominations (probably my one and only asset right now) to make sure that everything is in good order. And no, having these morbid thoughts does not mean I am afraid of death. Heck, there’s nothing scary about dying. What’s scary is dying before you even get to enjoy life. Now, that’s scary!
More from OPFoong
OPFoong Recommends
- I hate my life. My life is so miserable? (stanfieldsk)
- Improve Your Business Through Search Engine Optimization (Does SEO Work)
You want premature birth
Quickly infact you dream
With swine fever rising
It is no fun carrying a belly
When the baby is born
Your fear will disappear
Right now your mind finding ways
To get the baby out
Good for the mother and child
Thinking of dark thoughts
Afraid not to see the new born
Don’t go fishing unnecessary
It is God signature
He is the one who decides
The hungry of playing
Vengeful spirits of the night
Let them be
You have your family
And a home to keep and clean
Make it cozy light up their lives
Make yourself busy
Banish those thoughts
Eat more brownies
And your chocolates
Twitter I follow
caravanserai: heheh…thanks for the encouragement..don’t worry, this post only shows how morbid and twisted my mind could be sometimes.