For the millionth time...

I want to say:

I am pregnant.

I am pregnant because I had sex with my husband.

This is not the first time I am pregnant.

I know all about water retention and the shape of pregnant bellies and the bloatedness that comes with it.

I am having a baby girl.

My baby is due in two months’ time.

So there.  Any more irritating annoying questions?

Blardy hell. I can’t seem to go through a single day without someone asking me:

1. Are you pregnant?

Damn…if I am not pregnant, what do you think is inside my big, huge belly? A basketball? A watermelon? An alien?

2. Is this your second baby?

No, it’s my millionth baby…Why the hell do you feel the need to ask me a question that you know the answer to?

3. Are you having a boy or a girl?

For the 28th million time, it’s a GIRL. A female. A daughter. Someone without a wiener. Someone who will never get another person pregnant but will get pregnant and be asked these inane questions over and over and over… Geddit?!??

4. When are you due?

In two months time. November 2009. When the baby feels like it. Why? You planning to pay the hospital bills? Unless you are my boss asking me this to arrange the work schedule, I don’t see any reason why you feel such a dying need to know.

5. Oh wow, you are bloated and you have put on weight.

Excuse me, I wasn’t aware that I am supposed to be skinnier than a model when pregnant. Let me start my anorexia dieting now.

Now, if you have anymore irritating questions to ask me, I will be most happy to answer you. Anyone?

More from OPFoong

• The case of the mysterious missing posts
• The most irritating part about earning money online is…
• Letter to the PM

OPFoong Recommends

• SEO for a year  (Does SEO Work)
• Hootsuite for Time Management  (Does SEO Work)

Ask OPFoong To Recommend Your Posts