That's why I feel that we should not be pressuring our children to get As

Reading this article in NST online further convinced me that we should never put too much pressure on children to excel in their studies. So much so that they feel so stressed out that they find other ways of ‘de-stressing’.

KUALA LUMPUR: Students as young as 13 are getting high on cannabis, Ecstasy and ketamine, not just outside schools, but under their teachers’ very noses in class.

Even worse, the New Sunday Times found that female students who don’t have the money have sex with the pushers for a free supply of drugs.

Students claim the drugs help them relax and recover from the stress of examinations.

(NST online)

Of course, exam stress is not the main reason as much as mixing with the wrong crowd. But really, what is our society turning into if drugs are so easily procured in schools and are being pushed by students themselves? Death sentence for drug trafficking nonwithstanding, I feel that capital punishment is not enough to arrest this social problem.

There must be some other way to do this. For example, parents should be spending more time with their children instead of pushing them off to maids and tuition centres and then blaming the teachers for not disciplining their children. And if a teacher is to so much as punish a student with a slight smack on the hand, the parents go berserk crying abuse and such.

I remember my time in school when our teachers are so garang we dared not even utter a peep out of line. I also remember having my ears twisted and rulers smacking my knuckles for not remembering my multiplication tables. I also remember being made to stand on the desk in shame for not finishing my homework.

Although the teachers of my day resort to such harsh, physical punishment, no parents ever make any protest. In fact, no student dared to complain to their parents for fear of getting worse punishments at home.

Now, it is the other way around. A teacher can so much as shout at a student and the next day a police report has been lodged for abuse. Of course, I am not condoning the extreme cases of teachers beating students to within an inch of their lives but if any form of discipline is not allowed, students tend to get out of hands a lot. It’s not because they don’t know right from wrong but because they do know right from wrong and are purposely flouting it!

And the parents of today are also to be blamed for the rise in drug use amongst students. Let’s not even talk about young teenagers being sexually active at the age of 13 onwards. Other than not disciplining them, parents tend to also pressure their children to score As in school exams. Discipline and forcing one’s children to score in exams are two completely different things, I tell you.

I’ve heard of parents shuttling their children from one tuition to another in hopes of their children scoring perfect As and paying their children money for each A they get. The only discipline they mete out is to tell the children to do well in their exams and that’s all. There’s no such thing as teaching them values in life and drawing the line between right and wrong for them.

And if we want to depend on our education system, then we are all doomed. The moral subject is a joke. And since the school does not impart any values to the students and parents do not do that either, how are the children going to have any moral values at all?

Thus, we have this sex and drugs problem amongst students and teenagers. Is it any wonder at all?

This is where I feel that religious activities are good to a certain extent. It is only with religious activities and teachings that we are able to impart good, moral values to our children. That’s why I don’t mind sending my son to a Christian nursery although I am not a Christian. It doesn’t really matter that we believe in different Gods and practices. What matters is that they are teaching him good values from an early age. Things like saying ‘Thank You’ and ‘Please’ and even the spirit of sharing and caring for others. Of course I can teach him all that at home but when I am at work, isn’t it better he spend it in an environment where politeness and moral values are inculcated in him on a regular basis? I don’t even mind them teaching him to say grace before meal times as this is a way to teach him to be grateful for each meal he gets.

These are invaluable lessons we really need in schools and not just tuition after tuition of learning to score in the exams. There is no point having students who score in exams but the moment after the exams they start popping pills like candies to ‘relieve stress’. If it’s not drugs, some engage in free sex with multiple partners which could lead to the spread of HIV or even unwanted pregnancies.

Why spend so much on tuition classes and forcing students to score As when the most important part of life is for them to grow up as good, upstanding human beings? I’d rather my son not be a top-scorer but is kind at heart, helps others in need and grow up a good and upstanding man who does not do drugs, indulge in any deplorable vices and does not harm another human being whether directly or indirectly.Now, that is what I call success.

Remember, no As and no amount of money in this world is worth a single thing when you die tomorrow. You can never bring money with you but if you do good in your life, it will leave a mark on those you helped forever. Or if you believe in karma, it will go into account for your next life. I’d rather bank good deeds for my next life (just in case) than amass immeasurable wealth which I will never be able to bring with me in death.

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