Foong Speaks Her Mind

I remember when I used to get a full night’s sleep without disturbances. I get my full 8 hours beauty sleep. I could wake up early. I was not sleepy all the time.

Now…I can’t remember the last time I had a full night’s undisturbed sleep.

My son is almost three now but he is still waking up in the middle of the night but not for milk. Mostly, it is because of the weather.

Yep. We live in an area where it is quite cold at night regardless of whether it rained the whole day or it was darn hot the whole day. So, when he gets too cold, he’d wake up and start calling for me. And I have to go over to his room (yes, he sleeps in his own room!) and camp over at his room for the night.

This has been happening so much and on such a daily basis, it is wearing me down. For one thing, I work late into the night most days. It’s due to my part-time job as freelance writer and it involves a lot of online work. And by that, I mean A LOT of work in looking for jobs. I check up on job boards and etc to bid on projects. Nowadays, it is lagging quite a bit since India is spoiling our market. They are blardy bidding $2 per hour and even $1 per article rates. Blardy crazy. I sure as hell am not gonna write 100s of words for a measly $1 or $2! So, a lot of ‘buyers’ are choosing those with these ultra low stupid bids.

On top of that, I have my blogging to keep up and several other websites to maintain. Also, I have two major personal projects I am working on but hardly have time to really ‘work on it’. Yep, I have obviously bitten off more than I can chew at this moment in time. I realised that and now, I am considering letting one or two of my blogs just die off…but I don’t know which one to ‘kill’ off. Yet.

But I digress.

So, I usually work till 2am to 3am everyday and my son will wake up around 3.30am or 5am (whatever time when it gets cold) and I had just dragged myself into bed. So, in the end, I’d drag myself over to his room and just collapse onto his kingsize mattress (yeah, his bed is much much bigger than our puny Queen size bed) and sleep there.

That’s why I am sleeping apart from my husband most days. Sometimes, he’d also go over to my son’s room and we’d all three sleep there with my son in between of us. So, yeah, we sleep apart A LOT. And I realise this is not that good for any marriage.

I really don’t know what to do anymore. Short of moving my son to our room, it seems like I will have to sleep in two rooms every night, a few hours in my room and a few hours in my son’s room. I shudder to think what would have happened if a second child comes along.

I’d probably have to ‘permanently’ move into their room!

I know, many seasoned parents will say that all this will pass and I will look back and wish they would need me as much as my son does now before he becomes a sullen, angst-filled, rebellious teenager who’d rather be dead than be seen with his mom.

But for now, I barely have five hours of sleep every day for the past year or so. I think I am more like a walking zombie by now and sometimes, I don’t even know what I am typing here anymore…. Even now, I am so darn sleepy, the words are swimming before my eyes even as I tyep…

Zzzzzz…….

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Every once in a while, I’d go around reading unimportant, amusing stuffs (just to get away from the utter boringness and mind-numbing stupidity of local news due to brainless politicians in recent times) so imagine my delight upon finding the article titled 25 Fascinating Love Facts.

I remember I had a fun time reading the smooching list by the same writer, Laura Schaefer and now she’s back with another list and this time it’s on love.

Here is the list:

1. Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don’t.

Hey, what about the wives? Do they live any longer too? And is it before or after he brushes his teeth? Uggghhh…better hope it is after!

2. People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!)

*yawn* this has been said in the kissing list….seriously, the writer is repeating herself…oh well, maybe she forgot

3. When it comes to doing the deed early in the relationship, 78 percent of women would decline an intimate rendezvous if they had not shaved their legs or underarms.

Hmmm…that would surely explain the rise in teenage pregnancies huh? They are too young to have sprouted so much hair for them to worry about shaving before ‘doing the deed’…or maybe not…hmmm..maybe teenagers are too free and shave whatever ugly body hair all the time so that’s why they don’t have to worry about unwanted body hair before doing the deed…

4. Feminist women are more likely than other females to be in a romantic relationship.

You don’t say? No wonder there are so many people like Engineer who are lesbians but nobody believed him, of course.So, does this mean  we better be feminists if we want to be in a romantic relationship?

5. Two-thirds of people report that they fall in love with someone they’ve known for some time vs. someone that they just met.

There goes the ‘love at first sight’  theory out the window…hands up you people who fell in love at first sight. Anyone? Hello? Hmmm…she must be right…

6. There’s a reason why office romances occur: The single biggest predictor of love is proximity.

Ahah! No wonder a certain Monica could not get her lips attention off a certain Bill. Mystery solved! Hmm..this means you wives out there better watch out for the sexy secretary of your husbands…either you move into his office or move him out fast.

7. Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.

Hey! I beg to differ. Hands up all those whose spouse have forgotten their first date anniversary, first kiss anniversary, first night anniversary, wedding anniversary, whatever anniversary? What’s that? ALL of you? See? who said it improves the lover’s memory? Ceh… Ahh but wait. Maybe it does improve the memory - the memory of the wives who will remember to death that their husbands forgot their first kiss anniversary just 20 years into their marriage. That boor. How could he? And it was only after 20 years.

8. Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physiological responses — pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate.

Ahem, I beg to differ. It is NOT love but LUST. And just like how predators can smell fear from far, land wolves (meaning: leery, sex-crazed, sex-starved egomaniacs) can smell lust from far…oh wait, it’s their own lust they are smelling…
9. Brain scans show that people who view photos of a beloved experience an activation of the caudate — the part of the brain involving cravings.

I don’t know about that but if you show me a picture of chocolates, the brain scan will definitely show an activation of the caudate. MAJOR activation.

10. The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.

Talk about cradle snatchers, the Tiwi tribe wins the prize hands down!

11. The “Love Detector” service from Korean cell phone operator KTF uses technology that is supposed to analyze voice patterns to see if a lover is speaking honestly and with affection. Users later receive an analysis of the conversation delivered through text message that breaks down the amount of affection, surprise, concentration and honesty of the other speaker.

People actually trust some unknown new technology to tell them whether the other person is honest, affectionate, etc, etc? Hell, what if the tech screwed up?

12. Eleven percent of women have gone online and done research on a person they were dating or were about to meet, versus seven percent of men.

**snigger** I know of some people who’d go online to ‘do research’ on people they weren’t dating or about to meet but merely because they have nothing better to do.
13. Couples’ personalities converge over time to make partners more and more similar.

Oh craps. Does this mean I may start growing sideburns and needing a shave (on my chin!) and pee standing up?
14. The oldest known love song was written 4,000 years ago and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

And the love song is titled….???? Talk about cliffhangers…

15. The tradition of the diamond engagement ring comes from Archduke Maximillian of Austria who, in the 15th century, gave a diamond ring to his fiancée, Mary of Burgundy.

Wow…sigh and I didn’t even get a diamond engagement ring. Just the diamond wedding band. Does that count?

16. Forty-three percent of women prefer their partners never sign “love” to a card unless they are ready for commitment.

I’d prefer he NEVER sign love to a card UNLESS it is addressed TO ME! Who cares when he sign the card.

17. People who are newly in love produce decreased levels of the hormone serotonin — as low as levels seen in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Perhaps that’s why it’s so easy to feel obsessed when you’re smitten.

That’s why there are stalkers and this crazy obsession with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and the likes of them.  And now this explains the mystery of why a certain Jeanne married some sleepy brainless kampung old man…must be due to an obsessive compulsive disorder.

18. Philadelphia International Airport finished as the No. 1 best airport for making a love connection, according to an online survey.

Okay, listen up all the singles still looking for love out there! You know where to go…
19. According to mathematical theory, we should date a dozen people before choosing a long-term partner; that provides the best chance that you’ll make a love match.

OH NO. I didn’t date a dozen people before I got married. I’ve been cheated AGAIN. Ceh…

20. A man’s beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.

Really? No wonder my husband needs to shave every day… :grin:But wait, isn’t he growing more similar to practically hairless me, so why does he need to shave still? Hmmm….

21. Every Valentine’s Day, Verona, the Italian city where Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet took place, receives around 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet.

Either those Romeos are stupid or there really is a Juliet there…

21. When we get dumped, for a period of time we love the person who rejected us even more, says Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and author of Why We Love. The brain regions that lit up when we were in a happy union continue to be active.

Stupid, stupid brain. And I thought we have brains to help us get through life intelligently…So, next time don’t think with your brains, think with your heart when you get dumped.

22. People telling the story of how they fell in love overwhelmingly believe the process is out of their control.

Yeah, I remember all those stories of how ‘fate put us together’ or ‘Thank God she became part of my life’ that sorta things…goosebump and inducing, I tell you…

23. Familiarity breeds comfort and closeness … and romance.

Hey, that’s a twisted misquote of the popular phrase ‘familiarity breeds contempt’!

24. One in five long-term love relationships began with one or both partners being involved with others.

So, that means one out of five of us are adulterers.

25. OK, this one may not surprise you, but we had to share it: Having a romantic relationship makes both genders happier. The stronger the commitment, the greater the happiness!

Uhhh…duh …But then, ask those who have been married for years and they’ll tell you otherwise….why do you think there are marriage jokes like these:

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’
‘Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.’

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
‘Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?’
Father replied, ‘I don’t know son, I’m still paying.’

A young son asked,
‘Is it true Dad, that in some parts of  Africa
a man doesn’t know his w wife until he marries her?’
Dad replied, ‘That happens in every country, son.’

Then there was a woman who said,
‘I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.’

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

A Woman’s Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death’

That ends the fun facts about love and the more fun non-facts about love and marriage. Lol. Have a great week!

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I know of some elderly people who would peruse the obituary pages of newspapers just to take note which one of their friends have passed on. Of course, there are some who would be reading with glee that they have outlived yet another friend.

I have never bothered looking at obituaries so I usually don’t know if someone I know had passed away or their parents or grandparents had passed away. I’d only find out if someone told me about it. However, I’d rather not hear about this kind of news. Hearing about the death of people you know is not something everyone liked to hear.

So, I am really saddened when I caught up with some out-of-touch friends and find out that some of our mutual friends had passed away, some due to accidents and some due to illnesses. Most recently, I am more than surprised to find that several of my friends had died young, as in way before 30 and several others before 40.

Although I am not fearful of death and we all know that nobody is immortal, still, nobody expects to learn that their friends or acquaintances had passed away even before they get married, have children or those who were married with children, didn’t get the chance to watch their children grow up.

Yes, I have been out of touch. And it is sad. Although these people aren’t really my close friends, they are still my friends and acquaintances. So, here’s saying a final goodbye to:

1. Davina - who left behind a 2-year-old son and an almost inconsolable husband when she died of cancer last year

2. YP - who died due to an accident years ago before she even get a chance to come out into the adult world to work

3. Angela - who passed away last year due to an illness and she was such a bubbly, cheerful person

4. Peter - who died of leukemia several years ago when he had a full life ahead of him

5. John - who was a brilliant musician but died due to an accident years ago even before he could storm the world with his musical genius

Also to many others I could not possibly name here as the list kept growing each day….

May all of you rest in peace

Sadly, it is usually those that these people left behind that have to grapple with the grief and deal with the sudden loss. No parent should ever have to attend the funeral of their child and yet, many parents are.

It is one thing for us to lose our parents one day as it is expected because they are older than us but when it is the other way around, I just could not even imagine how the parents had felt. I could never imagine losing my son, ever. It probably would have destroyed me.

Then when a friend of mine lost her husband just a few weeks after their wedding, she was devastated. Barely out of their honeymoon and she had become a widow. The poor woman is still grappling with the difficulty of getting up, going to work and being alive daily while her husband is no longer there.

All these really saddened me. It made me look deeper within and though I have been telling myself this for years, I never really took it seriously.

Life is short, don’t waste it and live like there is no tomorrow

Yes, I have always been telling myself that but I never really bothered much, always procrastinating things, always thinking there is a tomorrow. But then we never know, right? How do we know for sure that there will be a tomorrow for us? So, maybe, I have been going about it wrong.

I should be doing things that I won’t regret if I were to die tomorrow or even tonight. I should treasure every moment, seize every moment, make the most of my life instead of fretting on unimportant things like stupid politicians, earning more money, house chores and overweight issues.

So, yes. From today onwards, I will try to live in the present instead of in the future or worst, in the past. Because the present is when it all happens, not the past nor the future. After all, we never know what the future has for us and we won’t know if we even have a future.

So, go on. Live like there’s no tomorrow and live your life out so that you won’t have any regrets if you were to die today.

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