Foong Speaks Her Mind » Relationship

That’s why I feel that women should have their own income

Foong — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:42:31 +0000

Because it will never do for us to leave our fate on the hands of men!

It doesn’t matter if you are a homemaker or a full-time career woman or married to a multi-millionaire. Whatever your situation in life, single, married or dating, protecting yourself and your own future should be the uppermost concern for you. No, this is not some feminist rant against men. I am just stating a basic fact of life. You want your future assured, then make darn sure you earn your own income and has means to continue doing so even after having children, even after quitting your day job, even after becoming a full-time homemaker or housewife.

I am not being all money-faced (eventhough I admit that I AM money-faced at times…like I always say, there’s no such thing as too much money!) but I am actually being very practical.

Think about it. Picture this.

You meet the man of your dreams (or you thought he is the man of your dreams), marry him, have children and then made the ultimate sacrifice to quit your job and be a full-time homemaker. So, you stay home to cook, clean and care for the children while he brings home the bread so-to-speak. All is hunky dory and rosy and all that crap. But sadly, there are no such thing as happily ever afters in this modern age and time.

One fine day, the so-called man of your dreams decided that he’s no longer in love with you. He’s probably bored of you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with another younger woman. Your life will come crumbling down all over you. Worst of all, you will be literally kicked out without any means of supporting yourself or your children. So, end up, he will get custody of the children and you are left destitute and alone.

Or if your guy is very faithful, due to some twist of fate, he could drop dead due to some disease, heart failure, accident, etc. And again, you are left to fend for yourself and your children alone.

In both scenarios, you will end up suffering emotionally and financially. Emotionally, you will be drained from the battle of the divorce or coming to terms with the death. Financially, you will also be drained because the person who had supported you all these years are no longer there to support you. This also could happen to those who married rich men because they could also leave you penniless by getting a new trophy wife and getting rid of you OR die with a will giving all their assets to someone else but you.

Much as we all hoped this won’t happen to us, it is always a good idea to have a back-up plan to safeguard ourselves. Think of it as insurance. So, if you married a rich man, remember to save up as much personal savings as possible. The more the better. If you don’t have a rich husband, then you should make darn sure you have your own stream of income.

By income, it does not mean you have to go out to work if you don’t want to. Nowadays, there are a lot of homemakers who earn comfortable incomes at home. Many women I know is now into opening blogshops – as in opening online stores to sell products from food to clothes to accessories to cloth diapers. If selling is not your thing, you could try blogging for money and earning an online income.

Whatever it is you feel you can do, then there is no harm venturing into it. If you think you don’t have the time now, then try to make some time for it. Think of it as investment. If your husband don’t agree to it, tell him it’s a hobby. And if you tell him it earns you a few hundred ringgit each month, he won’t stop you. After all, you are earning extra $$ for the household!

If you think that you do not need to do this as you have a happy marriage, your husband is healthy, etc, etc, I think it is time you get rid of your rose-tinted glasses. I am not saying that your marriage will fail or that your husband will drop dead any minute now. I am just saying, we as mothers and most importantly, as women, must have means and ways to protect ourselves, support ourselves and also to support our children in any eventuality. If you have a happily ever after ending, then good for you. But if not, at least, you have a back-up plan!

So, to all the women out there. Empower yourself and be independent! Show the world that we are indeed strong as we are capable of anything and can do much, much more than men. Happy Women’s Day (okay, so I am a little late since the actual day is March 8 but heck, better late than never!).

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Since I already have this blog, might as well use it to record my life

Foong — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:39:24 +0000

When I first started this blog, it was to vent and rant against people I am darn pis$ed with. And that includes those around me, people I work with, etc. Thus, it was important for me to stay anonymous. But then, somehow, people found out that this is my blog. Especially those I ranted against. Sigh. Is there no privacy anymore nowadays?

So. What’s the point of trying to stay anonymous when there are people who already knows this is my blog? Oh well. There are still lots of others who don’t know so I think I’d rather stay anonymous for now till I am ready to reveal my identity and link my Facebook account here.

Anyway, I also did not intend to use this blog to post up mushy, lovey dovey stuffs or even motherly, goo-goo gaga over my babies type of posts. But somehow, I always end up coming up with posts that veer towards parenting. I guess blogging about my life is what I should be doing nowadays. I mean, I have vowed not to touch about the politicians anymore. They are just wasting my time and space here. Seriously. Truly. Really sick and tired of frogs!

So, I might as well use this blog to record what’s been going on in my life. Yep. It’s going to get way more boring than now. Quick, go away fast before you get trapped in the utter boringness of this boring blog that’s sliding from sarky to not-so-sarky to *gasp* nice.

Okay, okay, I can never be nice. Not when I am such a real biyatch in real life anyway. What I’ve been trying to say in between all this nonsensical babble is that I will from now onwards blog whatever topic that comes to mind. And the first of the few truly ‘frank’ posts will probably be about my precious baby girl’s birth story. Or maybe I will dig through my memory and blog about the birth of my son. My firstborn. My big boy. Whatever. Till then. Don’t wait!

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I may multi-task a lot but I am no psychic

Foong — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:36:39 +0000

I am just human after all. I mean, how the heck will I know what’s going on if you don’t tell me? Dammit. Do I look like I can read your mind? What am I psychic? Sometimes I really wonder what’s eating you. I mean, you act all moody and ‘long face’ and stormy and all that but when I politely ask what’s wrong, you pretend that everything’s rosy and hunky dory.

Look here. I’ve known you more than ten years already, almost 12 years to be exact, and though there are still things about you I don’t quite get, I know when something’s bothering you. How the heck do you think I feel if you’re in such a blardy PMS-ing mood and won’t tell me what’s going on? How do I know if it’s:

1. your heart problem bothering you again

2. your parents bothering you again

3. your work bothering you again

4. I did something to bother you again

5. your complicated thought processes bothering you again

6. worries about our finances bothering you again (although we are not exactly on the verge of bankruptcy or anything like that)

For numbers 4 & 6, I may be able to help find a solution, like try not to bother you again and bring out the calculator to show you that we are far from bankrupt. For the others, it is entirely up to you and how you face it. Doesn’t it occur to you that sharing some of that burden with me may help a bit? Why keep it all bottled up? It makes you moody and in a terrible mood to the point of you being stern even with the baby! And the pre-schooler get shouted at simply because you are in a bad mood. So, if you think you are being all macho and everything in trying to handle your problems yourself, then you are wrong. You are in the end causing the rest of us to suffer. The children gets shouted at, I get ‘cold-shouldered’ at, we are all unhappy and upset. All because you are in a bad mood over some unknown reasons.

Sigh.

If it’s me, then tell me. If it’s something else, tell me too. At least I won’t feel like I have to walk around eggshells.

To all the men out there. Acting all macho by keeping your problems to yourself is NOT macho. It only upsets everyone around you. Remember, nobody can read your mind and know what problems you have if you don’t say it out loud.

Oh, er, sorry folks. I just need to rant a bit.

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What we should be teaching our children

Foong — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:54:30 +0000

Before I start, let me share with you the absolutely sinfully delicious cookies I’ve been stuffing myself during the Chinese New Year…

I made my own peanut cookies for Chinese New Year. Nothing beats my own home made peanut cookies. So crumbly. So full of peanut taste and it really melt in you mouth. If you want to try making them, here’s the traditional peanut cookie recipe. No, it’s not too late to make peanut cookies. Whoever said you can only eat this during CNY? It’s great for any time, any where, any mood, as long as you feel like baking them.

Ok. Enough of drooling over em cookies. Where was I before I started about the cookies? Oh yeah. The things that we should be teaching our children.

Don’t look up to a politician and don’t expect them to do something for you – they are usually full of crap, full of hot air, full of lies and all they really wanna do is to gain power, become rich and take advantage of the people. And no, it does not matter what party they are from. Most politicians (so, maybe there are like one or two out of a million who are really there to help the people but they are so rare, it’s easier to spot a talking, dancing spotted tiger in a pink tutu)
Don’t believe everything you read/ watch in the news – and I am not only referring to the local media but all media, local and international. That’s because the news are written and gathered by humans and no matter how hard the reporter / journalist try to be neutral, they are somewhat prejudiced. So, always watch / read the news with scepticism.
Humans are wily, conniving and capable of anything – it is better to be careful when faced with a stranger or a complete stranger hiding beneath your acquaintances / friends / relatives than to trust them completely and become a victim. That’s how some serial killers/ rapists lure their victims.
No religion is wrong or evil – it is the humans who are evil, not the religion so if there are clashes over religion, don’t blame the religion, blame the humans behind it. And no, Satanic occults is not a religion.
Twilight is fiction – I don’t care how blardy great looking the vampire guy (Pattinson or something) is but it is all NOT REAL okay? (besides, I still think ‘em Winchester brothers are way more good looking)
It’s a dog-eat-dog world – if you don’t reach out to grab what you want to achieve, you will never succeed. Don’t expect everything to fall on your lap easily. Whatever we want in life must be earned, regardless of whether it is money, success, career, love or that cute girl next door.
Having s ex is fun but it is better to use protection at all times – lets face it. Premarital s ex is pretty much the norm nowadays, even amongst teens. We can’t stop it from happening but we can stop STDs like HIV being spread and unwanted pregnancies. So, be open about s ex and teach them about the responsibility that comes with being s exually active.
Being a total jerk is totally uncool – nobody likes a jerk. A jerk is one who back-stab others for their own gain, used others to reach their own end, make scape goats out of others, bully the weak, you get my drift.
Everyone, regardless boy or girl, should know how to clean and cook – if there are female astronauts now, it is time that men learn to do their own laundry and cook their own meals. Ever heard of Jamie Oliver/ Anthony Bourdain? Yep, they are men and they cook and they are not sissies.
Discriminating against those who are different is WRONG – never, ever look down on people who are different. God created everyone different so you are no more superior than the next person.

Finally, believe in God. Faith does great things and as long as you don’t go around fighting with everyone about how to pray to God, or who is God or what is God’s name, whatever…faith makes everyone a better person.

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The reasons we should have more than one child

Foong — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:39:03 +0000

I know a lot of couples preferred to only have one child due to various reasons from financial constraints to lack of time or even lack of love (?). Whatever it is, I feel that we should all have more than one child. It is either have two children or not at all. Why have one and stop there? My reasons for having more than one child are:

1. You already lost your figure and have parts of your body riddled with stretch marks when you have the first kid, having another one won’t make much difference.

2. Both of you already lost your privacy and ‘honeymoon period’ of only two of you at home where you are able to get on hot and heavy wherever and whenever now that you have a small impressionable child running around, so having another one won’t make you lose more privacy.

3. You have already adapted to sleeping less than 6 hours a day with the first child and if you don’t have another one, you may shock your system if you suddenly sleep more.

4. All that is yours and all your money already belonged to your child, so why not split it up to benefit two or three instead of only one?

5. You already learned to nag when trying to get the firstborn to do something, so no point wasting the newly-acquired skill when you can use it on the second or third or fourth child.

6. You have also acquired new negotiation skills to negotiate your way outta buying the kid new toys each time you go shopping so you should keep this useful skills sharp by having more children to negotiate with.

7. Your patience level has increased that you are not bothered by broken things and spilt food so you should keep the level high by having more little ‘terrors’ to test your patience. Who knows, you may become a saint!

8. You kid will never ever bother you to ‘play with me please’ since they will be busy fighting and shouting at each other.

9. You won’t end up with a selfish prat who only thinks about himself, doesn’t share and thinks the world revolves around him because he will have to fight for stuffs with his siblings, fight for attention from his parents and learn to share and be considerate to others in the same home. (Not that I am saying all single child are spoilt. Only some are if the parents spoil them.)

10. Your kid won’t end up talking to himself and your house will never be a silent, lonely place ever again as it will be filled with screams, shouts, laughter and love.

Finally, if you are still undecided, you can always choose not to have children if you truly, truly are scared of these reasons for not having children.

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The meaning of love

Foong — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 02:23:14 +0000

Many people are always in search of the meaning of love and are often confused over what it all means. Here, let me enlighten you a bit on the real meaning of love…

Love is:

1. Silly – because you always end up doing silly things in the name of love

2. Stupid – because you act like a stupid buffoon when supposedly in love

3. Blind – because you tend to fall in love with idiots and not know it

4. Ridiculous – because you will do anything ridiculous in the name of love

5. Expensive – because you will hand over your fortune to the person you love

6. Lust – because all you seem to want to do is to hump like bunnies

7. Jealousy – because you want to tear out the eyes and limbs of whoever dared to even sweep a glance at your beloved

8. Revolting – because you are so mushy, lovey-dovey that it is absolutely revolting to those around you

9. Stalking material – because you end up stalking the love of your life, if it is unrequited

10. Criminal – because you’d end up kidnapping the person you ‘love’ to make him/her love you…

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

Hey, this is a sarcasm blog, not some mushy, lovey-dovey, sweet blog singing praises about love. If you are looking for the finer, more meaningful..err..meaning of love, go elsewhere.

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Sex is not dirty or taboo

Foong — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:49:16 +0000

I don’t know why most people (especially Asians) seem to have this perception that sexual intercourse is a taboo subject and something dirty that should never be discussed out in the open.

I mean why so uptight? Why is sex so dirty? Think about it. Without sex, you or I won’t exist at all. After all, sex is a very natural thing. It’s how humans procreate. So, why the taboo? Why is it dirty? I mean, if you spot a pregnant woman, you know for sure that she has definitely had sex to get to that, right?

And for married couples (or unmarried ones for that matter), sex is one of the main components of the relationship. I mean even for courting couples, they are working up to having sex (if they have not already). There’s the kissing and the hand-holding and the cuddling and the hugging. These are all foreplay to ‘going all the way’. Of course, some would abstain till they are married while others will throw caution to the winds and hump like bunnies in summer.

I am no moral police so I’m not going to write about the so-called ‘evils’ of pre-marital sex. Besides, I believe everyone has a choice to make and if they want to go at it like bunnies, it is their business. Still, I think all this taboo on sex and ’sex is a very dirty thing’ thoughts seemed to be working backwards on the young nowadays.

Teenage girls are getting knocked up and dumping their babies in rubbish dumps and drains.

Underage girls are indulging in group sex and sleeping around like it’s the norm.

STDs and HIV are being spread rampantly as the young continue to indulge in open sexual relationships without using any protection at all.

So, is all this ‘we don’t talk about sex openly’ culture even good at all? I don’t think so. Why hide something that we know every single human being wants to indulge in? If we talk about sex and teach our young about the responsibility that they have to undertake once they start having sexual intercourse, perhaps it could have prevented some unwanted pregnancies and spread of diseases.

Isn’t it worse that these young people resort to watching porno films on the net just to learn about sex?

Sex education is schools may seem to be the answer but I think it is not enough when parents and other adults seem to continuously think that sex is dirty and taboo.

If it’s so dirty, how could the act of having sexual intercourse result in a miracle where two cells combined and create another human being?

Think about it.

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What would I do if I found out my husband cheated on me

Foong — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 02:50:52 +0000

I’ve heard of cheating spouses and cheating boyfriends from friends, relatives and read about it in news. Even saw it in the movies. So, what do the cheated spouse often do? They:

1. ask for a divorce

2. pretended it was all okay as long as the spouse do not leave them

3. forgave the cheating spouse and start over in hopes that it won’t happen again

Well, I think that is just way TOO boring a way to deal with cheating spouses. I mean, come on. Your husband broke your trust, crushed your heart, destroyed your family and caused much emotional pain to you and your children because he decided to listen to his tiny brain in his groin. And you are just going to let him get away with it easily?

No way.

REVENGE is always SWEET when it comes to getting even against a cheating husband / boyfriend / partner/ whatever.

I mean. Come on. Just watch the ‘Butterfly on a Wheel’ movie (starring the gorgeous Pierce Brosnan…ahhh..sigh) for some inspiration.

Anyway, I’ve thought about it and if my husband dared to even think of cheating on me, I have come up with a list of things I’d do to get even.

1. Immediately withdraw ALL the money from our joint account and deposit it into my personal account.

2. Go on a shopping spree using the supplementary cards he gave me and max every single one of it out.

3. Use the scissors to destroy all of his favourite, branded, expensive clothes or better still, take it all and donate it to Salvation Army.

4. Slash all four tyres of his car, smash the windscreen and spray the words ‘JERK’ and ‘CHEATER’ on the bonnet, doors, everywhere of the car.

5. ‘Accidentally’ drop his expensive new laptop (or whatever new expensive gadget he thoroughly favored and loved)…..from the 15th floor of a building

6. Take videos of him in the toilet and post it on youtube with the title ‘Cheater at it’ and then forward it to everyone who knows him.

7. Gather evidence of him goofing off from work and then report him to his company with proof such as videos and photographs.

8. Prepare an absolutely wonderful meal just for him and lace it with plenty of laxatives…but before this, make sure the food is served at a picnic spot where the nearest toilet is miles away.

9. Stuff leftover uncooked shrimp shells into his shoes and in a hidden compartment in his car.

10. Finally, before I kick him out of the house, give him a very good, hard kick in the groin, preferably wearing steel-toed boots.

There. Much more fun and therapeutic than asking for a divorce, don’t you think? And although some men do repent after they strayed once and not do it again, we will never know. The trust is broken and it is not something all that easy to forgive and forget.

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Hooked on sex at a young age

Foong — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 23:59:57 +0000

No lah, not me. I am very prim and proper wan…*ahem* but I wouldn’t mind being categorised under the ‘young age’ category now…wakakakakaka…I am not going to go all preachy and act all shocked with this piece of news yesterday.

Heck, it is really time for people to realise that teenagers ARE having sex, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation. I mean, if having ‘the talk’ about sex almost never happen in most households, then these teens will go looking for answers elsewhere: friends, internet, own experimentation. It is only natural. All teens are curious. And rebellious. And gatal are in puberty.

Okay, I’m not going to launch into a long lecture about premarital sex and sexual disease and teen pregnancy,etc. I am sure a lot of other people will be hopping mad with that news and start spewing righteous crap about it. FFS. Just accept the fact la. No matter how much you condemn it, teens will still hump each other like bunnies in heat. So, it is not our culture BUT it is still happening. Deal with it!

If you are a parent and is worried about here, here are some tips on how to deal with this:

1. Since you can’t stop your teenager from sneaking around behind your back and getting it going with a partner, sit her or him down and talk about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases like HIV.

2. Better still, arm yourself with horrid graphic pictures of STDs and plaster it on the walls on your teen’s room with the message: ‘If you are not careful, this could be you’.

3. Then, go out and buy some condoms and give it to your teen with the reminder to use it if they really want to go ahead and have sex. Hey, if you can’t stop them, might as well make damn sure they are not spreading STDs and getting knocked up (or knocking someone up!)

4. If your teen is a girl, just show her documentaries of really painful labour with clear shots of how the baby came out. Also remember to tell her (if you are her mother) how painful it is to deliver a baby and that you got pregnant after just one night.

5. Start reading and watching sex-related movies and magazines with your teen and talk about sex with them all the time. Be very, very open about sex. By the end of one day of a parent going on and on excitedly about sex, it will surely turn them off the novelty of sex altogether especially with the thought of their parents ‘doing it’ being pushed into their minds regularly. Remember to do the same when their friends come over. No, don’t talk with their friends about it but continue to talk with your teen about it LOUDLY in front of his/her friends. No self-respecting teen would ever live it down and since they are naturally rebellious, how are they going to rebel by having sex when you talk about it so much and seemingly encouraged it?

For the parents who are so uptight about sex and is searching for solutions to stop their teens from having sex, here are what you should do:

1. Lock your teen in a windowless dark room for the rest of his / her life.

2. Move your whole family to antartica; the only other possible sexual partner your teen could find there are penguins.

3. Better still, DON’T have children and you will spare yourself all the pain, heartache, waste of time and money moments…

As for teenagers out there, here are some tips on how to get your parents to see how important it is for you to indulge in such a lifestyle:

1. Be sullen all the time.

2. Slam the door when nagged.

3. Rebel. All the time.

4. Sneak out behind your parents’ back.

5. Be as promiscuous as possible WITHOUT protection.

6. Get pregnant / get someone pregnant and panic.

7. Or better still, get STD and panic even more.

8. Get an abortion and live to regret it FOR LIFE.

9. Have a shotgun wedding, have the baby and ruin your life when your spouse turned out not to be your dream partner and your marriage became a sham.

10. OR, choose to control your sexual urges for when you are older and more responsible for your own actions.

11. Otherwise, remember to USE PROTECTION. HIV is incurable and you never know where your partner has been or done it with and yes, IT WILL and CAN happen to you.

12. If all else fail, here’s a NEW term for you…COMMUNICATION. Talk to your parents.

So, there you have it. Tips for everyone from the uptight parents to the rebellious teen. If you feel offended by the post, I DON’T BLARDY CARE. If you don’t like this post, I DON’T BLARDY CARE. If you think this post is promoting promiscuity, then you are too stupid for me to bother with.

Now, teenagers, go out and get yourself infected with HIV, STDs and worst of all, pregnant!

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About public displays of affections, touching, hugging and heavy petting

Foong — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:50:33 +0000

So, a colleague of mine found himself a girlfriend just a few months back and ever since they’ve been spotted going around all lovey-dovey, holding hands, hugging and generally have loads of public display of affection. (Yeah, if you are reading this, I meant YOU).

Well, I couldn’t care less if they jump on each other and go at it like a pair of horny rabbits.

It is their right after all.

BUT. Yes, there is always a but. This can’t be said about others who don’t think this way.

So, sure, I feel kinda nauseated by their obvious mushiness what with ‘I love yous’ being aired all the time and mushy corny statuses about their love being put up for all and sundry to see in Facebook and such. BUT. Yes, again the but. There are groups of people who don’t approve of such corniness and mushiness.

Okay, so, I for one find it so nauseating and corny and mushy and urrgghh..mengelikan, I often teased my colleage about it and that’s it. Teasing him about it and telling him to cool it down a bit are two different things.

So, it seems that it hurts some people’s eyes to see lovey-dovey couples. And thus, I’ve come up with some tips for people who hates any kind of public displays of affection, holding hands, touching, hugging, etc.

To the kaypohchees (busybodies) who feel inclined to tell the amorous couple to tone it down:

1. Eh, loser. The couple holding hand or even hugging each other will not give you cancer for watching them, okay? This is a free show after all. Enjoy it and remember, you don’t even have to fork out $$ to buy illegal pirated porn VCDS / DVDs to see live action like this!

2. So, who died and made you the Moral Police? They are just holding hands FFS. Not even indulging in heavy petting or deepthroat kissing. Why don’t you just go do something useful, like drowning yourself in the nearest clogged drain?

3. Ever heard of closing your eyes and turning away?

4. Ever heard of using that two pins below your waist, called legs, to walk away if it hurts your eyes / feelings so much?

5. Look here, you prude. Couples are going to diplay their affection publicly anywhere and everywhere as an when they like whether you like it or not. So live with it. If not, why not just dig out both your eyes with a blunt spoon?

Now, I know many other prudes will come up and say it is against our culture to be so affectionate in public places. Well, I say BULLSHIT. I am not saying couples should go all out and start having sex in public places. But merely holding hands and a bit of hugging, so what? You mean it is our culture to be the ice queens / kings of all time and then act like savage beasts in private?

What a load of bullshit. So, to the couples out there, go ahead. Hold hands all you want. But please, no heavy petting or deep throat kissing or any kind of foreplay in public places. You may get arrested / fined for indecent exposure!

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