See…

Oh well, no point crying over cobwebs. Anyways, things have changed, I have moved on to other pursuits and yes, life still goes on. What am I doing now? Perhaps this explains everything…

Lolz…I created that collage when I was bored shitless yesterday and all of it is true.

Sigh.

I wanted back in the writing world so I am back.

It’s not all hunky dory, happily ever after though. Still. At least I get paid every month. It pays the bills and feed the family. Well, sort of, since my current job doesn’t pay me as high as my previous writing job.

SIGH.

Oh well. I believe there is a purpose to everything and perhaps I am being made to eat humble pie for a reason.

Anyways, I am back to my office hour job and I am back to my sarky, snarky self. YAY!!!

Note Number One:

To my dearest firstborn:

Do not blame yourself that your weird, cooky mother decides to off herself. Although I scream at you, get angry at you &  punish you at times, this only means I love you and all that scolding was for your own good. Having a child with ADHD and dyslexia may be a challenge but it’s not what pushed me over the edge. There are bigger things in life than you. Trust me. You may think the whole world revolved around you but you will someday realise that it DOESN’T! Not everything that happens is because of you or what you did. You are just a child, nothing you did could have damaged anything or anyone else’s spirit to the point of them wanting to shoot themselves in their heads or jump off the nearest high building.

You are a wonderful, inquisitive and highly intelligent child. My only hope for you is that you do well in whatever line you choose in future and perhaps, do like what Steve Jobs did, put a ‘ding in the universe’. It doesn’t matter if you don’t get 10 As in whatever stupid public examination. It doesn’t matter if you finished last in your class. What matters is when you are out in the real world, you succeed in whatever line you choose. I am certain that you are able to do that if you put your mind and determination to it. 

Do take good care of your little sister for me. I do so dearly love you both. Goodbye!

Your dead mother

Note number two:

To my dearest baby girl,

My baby girl, I do hope you too do not blame yourself for what your crazy mother did. You are the light of my life and your bubbly laughter never failed to bring happiness into my life. However, there are some things in life that is beyond my control so no matter how much joy I have whenever I see you, it isn’t enough. I am slowly sinking into an abyss of depression. It is not your fault at all.

I can see that you are going to be a bright and intelligent girl. Do pursue your dreams and never let it out of your sight. Do not let others confuse you or turn you away from achieving your dreams. You can be whatever you want to be as long as you pursue it relentlessly. 

Do take good care of your brother as he is all you have now. He may be a big bully sometimes, but he loves you dearly too and dotes on you. I do so love you two dearly. Goodbye!

Your dead mother

Note number three:

To my hubby, 

We’ve been married for so many years, sometimes I lost count of how long we’ve been together. After so many years together, I’d thought you’d know how I feel about most things but sadly that’s not the case. I am slowly sinking into depression and yet instead of helping me, you push me away. I know running this business together may not be a good idea as we argued and quarreled a lot over minor things in the business. 

I do still love you but I feel as if you are so far away from me. I feel as if we had grown apart in these past months. I don’t know what to do to mend it. I tried talking but you clam up a lot. I tried asking you, again you clam up. Finally, I got so mad I stopped talking to you and again, you are not bothered. Instead, you decide to stop talking to me too. I am not blaming you for my death. Nobody is responsible except myself. I just want you to know why I feel what I felt and why I need to take such a drastic step. Here’s a list of what I am feeling right now:

• I am tired of being the SOLE parent for the kids – their wellbeing, their health, everything about them lies heavily on my shoulder with no help from anyone. 
• I am tired of being in charge of almost everything in the household 
• I am tired of being in charge of almost everything in the business except for the photography and some of the photo editing
• I am tired of being expected to pick up new skills which I have no interest in
• I am tired of being expected to do ALL things for the family, for the business, for you
• I am tired of being expected to do it all quietly with no complains
• I am tired of being worried about our finances day in day out and not being able to tell you for fear of you worrying too
• I am tired of being shouted at, being scolded and worst of all, being ignored and unappreciated day in day out
• I am tired of being expected to take care of the kids, to manage the business AND also do part-time work 
• I am tired of going to bed at 2am every night trying to complete all my work including the part-time work
• I am tired
• I am tired
• I AM TIRED OF IT ALL

1.Stomp, step and walk all over the roadside offerings for the hungry ghost

All the ashes of the burnt hell money and the food that many Taoists place on the roadside are offerings for the wandering spirits. And this means these ashes and food are usually surrounded by wandering, hungry ghosts. Now, you want to be haunted, just stomp on the ashes and kick the offerings.

Don’t believe? I know of a fella who accidentally stepped on some of the ashes. He didn’t know that he offended several spirits. The spirits followed him home and even possessed him. He began acting real weird and that’s not all, he could even turn his head all around without moving his body. This freaked his wife out and she immediately tried to get help.

She found a ‘ghostbuster’ who managed to catch all the spirits who possessed him. The ghostbuster told her that her husband was lucky that they had immediately sought help otherwise the spirits may have caused him to be killed!

2. Go stay in a vacant building that is known as haunted and pee on the walls

Some vacant buildings have a reputation of being haunted and this is often true. Some are occupied by hundreds of spirits and most of these spirits are dangerous.

There is one well known haunted building in Relau here. One day this guy happen to go through the building as a short cut. He also needed to pee really bad. So, without thinking, he went to the corner of the vacant building and relieved himself. Of course, this angered the spirits there. The next day, when he rode his bike pass that area, he suddenly lost control and crashed. Fortunately, he was not seriously injured but that’s not the last of it. When he got home, he suddenly fell very ill with high fever and chills. It lasted for a week and no medication seems to work. His mother, as a last resort, went to seek help at a temple and ask the deities what’s wrong with her son. She was told that he had offended several malicious spirits and they now wanted him dead. The same ghostbuster as above went to ‘talk’ to the spirits. After the negotiation (more like threats by the ghostbuster), the spirits agreed to let him go.

3. Wear red and walk around where offerings are being made after 7pm

While the spirits are not afraid of sunlight, they are more active and powerful after dusk. They also hate red so they are prone to attack people wearing red clothes.

My friend wore a red blouse and actually went to a haunted house to look around in the daytime. Needless to say, she was attacked by the spirits in the house as she could actually feel someone push her from her back until she fell. Luckily she was wearing a talisman so they could not possess her. She left in a hurry after muttering some prayers and that’s the last time she ever wore a red shirt especially during the hungry ghost month.

4.Tell ghost stories, say bad things about them, swear at them after dark during this month

Ghosts and wandering spirits are like us,they feel offended easily and they usually like to gather around when people start talking about them. So if you are telling ghost stories and then you are swearing at them, they will be offended and will want to attack you.

We were on holiday at Cameron Highlands a few years back when my son was still very small. My clothes were crumpled so without an iron, I did the next best thing. I turned on hot water and hang the clothes in the bathroom to steam it with the door closed. So when my godbrother wanted to use the bathroom, he saw the door closed and heard the water running so he thought someone was in there. But then he saw all of us sitting outside so he asked us who’s in the bathroom. My husband teased him and tried to frighten him by saying there’s a few of his ‘unseen friends’ taking a shower in there.

That night, my son couldn’t sleep and was very restless. My husband also could not sleep and could feel as if someone was standing next to him staring at him. In the middle of the night, I startled awake and actually saw a shadow standing over our bed! I begin muttering prayers and soon after, the shadow was gone.

5. Place wind chimes at your home, as many as possible and also ring the bell and all sorts of bell-like sound as often as you like especially at night

Somehow, ghosts seem to like the sound of bells, wind chimes and anything with this jingly sounds. So the more bell you ring( the actual bell, not the electronic doorbell!) the more will come.

My friend loves wind chimes. She has so many wind chimes in her home, you can hear it from afar. It was after she started collecting wind chimes a few years back that she started experiencing strange things. She’d hear someone running back and forth upstairs even though she’s alone at home. She’d hear banging sounds, like someone rapping on the walls, in the middle of the night. She also can’t sleep and was restless. it went on for months until she decided to seek help from a medium and was told that her house is surrounded by spirits because of her wind chimes. She immediately got rid of her collection and the disturbances stopped.

6. Let ferns grow on your walls

Some spirits like to hide inside plants, especially in light wavy plants like ferns.

Outside my children’s bedroom, there’s a tiny little crack on the corner of the wall and somehow it started growing ferns. The ferns was so long that it was brushing against the window. I never bothered about it although the waving ferns did give me a scare a few times at night.

Well,my baby girl was having restless nights and crying a lot. But I though she was just being a fussy baby. Until one day, my ‘sixth sense’ friend visited me. She could see supernatural things and when she went into the room, she jumped in shock and ran out. She told me that there were three ferocious monsters outside the window. I went to look and only saw the ferns. She then explained that the monsters were hiding in the ferns! (She said monsters because the spirits do not look like humans but like something you’d see only in movies)

Fortunately, my house has a Lord Buddha to guard it so these monsters could not get in but they were nevertheless disturbing my baby! So, the next day, after getting my ghostbuster friend to get rid of the monsters, we got rid of the ferns. Now I check the walls often to ensure that there are no wild ferns growing there!

7. Pick up amulets and talismans from public places or from unknown strangers

Amulets and talismans are usually used for protection but there are some parties who used these in their dark arts. There are also fake amulets and talismans and spirits often like to hide in these.

My husband used to like collecting talismans wherever he went and then he’d hang it everywhere at home. There were close to a hundred of it! Then when my son was about 9 months old, he started crying around 11pm until 1am every night. Non-stop. It was like he was in pain. We tried everything, from colic medicine to feeding him. Nothing worked. Then someone told us to seek help from a medium as it could be supernatural related.

We sought help from a several mediums and nothing works! Until we met this ‘ghostbuster’ who late became our friend. The problem was solved and it seemed that our whole house was filled with spirits from the talismans my husband took home! This was before we had the Lord Buddha altar at home. We threw away all the talismans and never simply pick it up from unknown sources again.

8. Keep and the eat the food offerings you made for the hungry ghosts or even to Tai Su Yeah (King of Hades)

Many people tend to do this, they’d offer fruits and kuih and then keep it and eat it later.

The logic is simple, I give up you food and then I take it back. Would you like that? So, you want to anger some spirits, do exactly that!

My ghostbuster friend has exorcised quite a few spirits that had possessed those who ate offerings they took back to eat.

9. Go to the concerts and opera shows held during the hungry ghost month and be rude/spit everywhere/ talk about ghosts and scoff that ghosts exists

These shows are literally meant to entertain the wandering spirits so yeah, there will be plenty of unseen audience. It’s the best place for you to scare up a possession!

My husband once got it into his head to take photos of one of those opera shows. After two or three shots, his camera jammed and could not shoot anymore! So he stopped and came home. When he checked the camera, it was ok and could function as normal. When he looked at the pictures, it was blur and out of focus. Camera malfunction or something else? Why don’t you try?

10. Go hiking, pee and defecate wherever you want, spit everywhere also or go to fatal accident scenes and step on the blood

There are often a lot of spirits in the hills and jungles. It’s their home so if you pee/defecate or spit in their home, they won’t be pleased. Years ago, a man went hiking and was lost. Nobody could find him for days that dragged on to a week.

Then one of the searchers found his body just a few feet from the trail. It seemed that he had defecated and angered a spirit. The spirit hid the path so he could not get out and hid him so rescuers couldn’t find him.

As for accident scenes, my husband passed by a horrific accident scene that killed several people a few years ago. Three of the spirits followed him home! We found out from my son because he was restless and crying like when he was disturbed by spirits. Of course the spirits could not enter our home but they stood outside calling to him to help them! I called our ghostbuster friend and they were sent on their way.

She told us that often spirits of accident victims are confused and do not know what to do or where to go so they may just follow a human home in hopes of getting help!

And that concludes my top 10 ways to get in touch wit ghosts and spirits and the sorts. Don’t believe any of these stories? Then try them out!

And one of it is…

Learning make-up!!!

Now, I am not the make-up type. In fact, I don’t buy cosmetics and previously, the lipstick that I bought will usually stay in my drawer for months, years…until it became some sorta antique.

So, yeah, I don’t put on make-up.

I don’t even shape my eyebrow….yes, yes, please pick up your jaws from the floor. I do actually walk around with outofshape eyebrows growing every way it likes.

You see, in my previous profession, it doesn’t matter if I look like a schoolgirl or a beauty queen, what matters most is that I must know how to write!

And now that I have drastically changed my profession to be a businesswoman/entrepreneur…it means I have to learn new skills to keep my business alive.

And yes, that’s learning makeup!!!

And for someone who has never ever plucked her eyebrows in her life before…it’s a big, HUMONGOUS challenge. In fact, it’s downright SCARY!!

In the last few months, I picked up some tips from my makeup artist ( yes, I have a makeup artist on staff but if I don’t know makeup and she decides to up and leave one day, my business will suffer) and I practiced on myself.

It would seem that to learn makeup, one must first be able to makeup one’s own face. And to makeup self, I need equipments…and so….I bought…

Professional Makeup brushes

And….

Of course I wish I could afford to buy ALL of these…

I bought Maybeline, Revlon and Elianto products….I even bought some cheapo China made fake MAC products…and though Maybeline, Revlon and Elianto aren’t all that cheap (RM50 for a bottle of foundation!!!), these are considered low range products as compared to the likes of Nars Cosmetics (not available in Malaysia), MAC or Bobbi Brown…

I have already spent close to RM500 just on makeup supplies!!!!

Why spend so much on cosmetics when I am just learning to use it? Well, for one thing, I am applying it ON MY FACE. And that’s a good enough reason already,ok? I mean, would you wanna slap some unknown cheapo stuff on your face that may give you rashes, or worse, breakouts in huge, blistering throbbing acne?

And I just spent another RM400 on Benefit cosmetics. OMG. It doesn’t look like I am gonna stop cause I will be going down to KL next week and try to attend a MAC makeup workshop and I know I already have to pay RM250 for that and who knows how much more for MAC products….

To think, I won’t even bother to buy lipgloss just half a year ago.

On the bright side, at least, all these purchases is deductible as a business expense since we do need to use a lot of makeup products for our customers…

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

“We believe them to be extremely dangerous and they could even cause the current government to lose in the next general elections which we must prevent at all costs!!” a police spokesman was quoted as saying when releasing photos of those he claimed are fully responsible for the rally.

“We all know yellow is the main colour for this rally and without a doubt these are our main culprits so we will catch them and put them where they belong!” he added.

He urged the public to hand in any of the culprits should they spot them anywhere.

“We have reasons to believe that this local has roped in his foreign accomplices to assist him in his dastardly plan to besmirch the good clean reputation of the government with their clean up calls!” he said while showing a grainy picture of the main suspect.

His accomplices were believed to be:

From the land, into the sea…

Finally, another Asian suspect…

The police urged anyone with information of any of these suspects to call the police hotline immediately.

“We will be contacting Interpol soon to track down the foreign accomplices,” the spokesman said.

- Foong’s News Network

Disclaimer for idiots: In case you are TOO STUPID to realize it, this whole post is a PARODY.

I have to do the company accounts.

I have to do the administrative work.

I have to check the supplies.

I have to check the operations work flow.

I have to do customer service and sales.

I have to check our packages to ensure it’s competitive.

I have to deal with suppliers and haggle for better prices.

I have to learn bridal make-up and hairdo.

I have to promote and market our business on FB, Twitter and the internet.

I have to update our company FB, twitter and website.

I have to deal with our employees affairs/ HR.

I have to do payroll.

I have to do taxes and accounting for tax purposes.

I have to do photo editing.

I have to ensure all deadlines are met.

AND

I have to pick up my kids from daycare.

I have to take care of my kids so that they don’t run around in the shop.

AND

I now have to learn ways to teach a dyslexic since my firstborn has dyslexia.

I have to teach him how to read because of his learning disability.

ON TOP OF ALL THAT,

I have to look for part time work online to earn some side income as our business is still not stable

I have to work on my websites to continue generating passive income.

AND not forgetting..

I have to do the laundry

I have to cook and clean

And what do I get for shouldering so many tasks and responsibilities?

- Lack of seep

- Stress

- NOT A SINGLE WORD of thanks

- NO time for relaxation

- NO SALARY

- NOTHING. NADA. NYET.

- Get shouted at sometimes

- Get blamed if something goes wrong.

So.

WTF. I QUIT!!!!!!

I don’t effing care even if their prime goal is to clean Najib’s ass.

But all this big huge fuss over the now-cancelled Bersih rally is just so EFFING IRRITATING and ANNOYING.

WTF.

Go get a life.

ALL of you idiots, either you are pro Bersih or not.

All the fanatics are going overboard as if Bersih is like some God-sent saint.

And all the anti-Bersih idiots are also going overboard as if Bersih is the devil impersonate.

WTF. The rest of us who couldn’t care less about idiots taking to the streets over one cause or not, with hidden agendas or not, is just not bothered okay?

And the police. What the effing shit is wrong with all ultra-kiasuim? Shit. You are supposed to be minimizing traffic jams but now you are causing traffic jams because you are afraid of some stupid idiots shouting Bersih in a crowd? I dunno about anyone else, this all-of-a-sudden hardworking attitude of the police in having road blocks everywhere to prevent a Bersih rally while robbers, murderers, rapists, serial killers are roaming around free sorta doesn’t make sense.

Er, hello? Aren’t the police supposed to be ensuring safety of the people by arresting REAL criminals and not wasting time harassing people donning ugly yellow T-shirts?

I didn’t even know wearing stupid ugly yellow T-shirts with the word Bersih is illegal. Of course, if it’s the fashion police, these people will be hauled up for the pure ugliness of the attire….I mean it really hurts the eyes, no?

Yellow t-shirts aside, tomorrow, I am just gonna stay home and avoid the maddening crowd. Nothing but a bunch of crazies. I am not so stupid to go get stuck in massive jams caused by the idiotic police’s road blocks.

Better I stay home and watch stupid Astro reruns.

Bersih rally? Not my cup of tea. Thank you very much. I HAVE a life.

It is so effing S.T.U.P.I.D.

The said news report, which was written based on what some random blogger wrote WITHOUT verifying the facts, had brought on such a huge backlash on the Christian groups that reading the newspapers and local MSM today would only make people think the Christian groups started it first!! WTF.

Look, I am no Christian but I can’t stand such blatant injustice and absolute nonsense over a NON-EXISTANT issue. I mean, what the fark. The Christian groups were minding their own business when out of nowhere some stupid blogger decides to link them to some imaginary ‘meeting to make Christianity the main religion in Malaysia’ and lo and behold, all the Christian groups are in deep shit. Meanwhile, Utusan, that published such lies by the blogger WITHOUT bothering to check the accusations, gets a ‘reprimand’.

What I don’t get is, why must the Christian groups explain and make all sorts of pledges to console and pacify all those crazed idiots who were up in arms over the Utusan report when it is clear no such thing ever happened? What about the blogger who started the ball rolling? Why is it okay for the blogger to spread lies that could possibly incite racial hatred and equally alright for a national newspaper to do exactly the same thing while the victims of the lies had to explain so that they do not get into trouble?

What is our country turning into?

It is obvious that the law is not being upheld but being used to meet the needs and ends of the powers that be.

In case you are wondering, I am no politician and I do not care hoots about any of the political parties in our country be it the BN or the Opposition. However, this glaring injustice against Malaysians is just too much. It is time that Malaysians think and use their brains in the next General Elections.  It is time to show the powers that be that the position they are in now are not a given. It is time to let ALL politicians know that WE, Malaysians, have a say over what our leaders do! Even if it means voting in the Opposition, it will serve as a good lesson to all leaders that they have no right to abuse their powers to meet their own needs and ends.

Sigh. This country is truly going to the dogs.

Here are the seven types of stupidity I’ve encountered lately:

1. Someone calling my HOUSE PHONE through LAND LINE (TM) and the first sentence: “Where are you now?” Err…where do you think I am when you are calling me on my house phone? Planet Mars?

2. Stupid person to a deaf person (through an interpreter): “So, did you enjoy the musical concert?” Needless to say, the deaf person didn’t quite know how to response to that!

3. “Why are you breastfeeding your baby? Infant formula is healthier and better than breastmilk!” What can I say? Some people are just SO ignorant and refused to break out of their own ignorance.

4. “But her breasts are so small, how can she breastfeed?” This coming from another ignorant idiot who is single, a woman and has an MBA to boot! So, who says highly educated people are knowledgeable?

5. “Oh wow, you baby knows how to drink milk (suckle from my breast) and she’s also eating porridge. How did you teach her that?”

6. “So is this your phone number?” from someone calling my Handphone…I don’t know about you but I usually don’t grab some else’s phone when it rang.

7. “What are you doing here?” question asked when I am happily stuffing myself with food at a restaurant. I suppose one could be doing a lot of other things in a restaurant…like asking stupid question!

When I first started this blog, it was to vent and rant against people I am darn pis$ed with. And that includes those around me, people I work with, etc. Thus, it was important for me to stay anonymous. But then, somehow, people found out that this is my blog. Especially those I ranted against. Sigh. Is there no privacy anymore nowadays?

So. What’s the point of trying to stay anonymous when there are people who already knows this is my blog? Oh well. There are still lots of others who don’t know so I think I’d rather stay anonymous for now till I am ready to reveal my identity and link my Facebook account here.

Anyway, I also did not intend to use this blog to post up mushy, lovey dovey stuffs or even motherly, goo-goo gaga over my babies type of posts. But somehow, I always end up coming up with posts that veer towards parenting. I guess blogging about my life is what I should be doing nowadays.  I mean, I have vowed not to touch about the politicians anymore. They are just wasting my time and space here. Seriously. Truly. Really sick and tired of frogs!

So, I might as well use this blog to record what’s been going on in my life. Yep. It’s going to get way more boring than now. Quick, go away fast before you get trapped in the utter boringness of this boring blog that’s sliding from sarky to not-so-sarky to *gasp* nice.

Okay, okay, I can never be nice. Not when I am such a real biyatch in real life anyway. What I’ve been trying to say in between all this nonsensical babble is that I will from now onwards blog whatever topic that comes to mind. And the first of the few truly ‘frank’ posts will probably be about my precious baby girl’s birth story. Or maybe I will dig through my memory and blog about the birth of my son. My firstborn. My big boy. Whatever. Till then. Don’t wait!