Foong Speaks Her Mind

Remember the old wive’s tale about peeping people in the bathroom will give you eye sores (as we called it ’seh bak chiam’)?

Well, nowadays, the reality is that becoming a peeping tom is even more dangerous than getting sore eyes. So, if you have a desire to be a peeping tom, be prepared to face unknown dangers from being beaten to a pulp by the girl’s boyfriend to falling to your death from a balcony.

What has falling off a balcony got to do with anything? Well, apparently a ’suspected’ peeping tom was too engrossed in his ‘girl’ watching through his binoculars that he fell off the balcony…

A suspected Peep­ing Tom fell to his death after spying on a woman living in a nearby high-rise building.

The 20-year-old contract worker was said to have slipped off the balcony of the eighth floor condominium he rented while ogling through his binoculars.

- source

See? Ogling at women through your binoculars can be a dangerous and fatal past time. Next time you think of using you binoculars for peeping tom activities, better give it up. It is probably safer taming lions or testing out bungee jumping ropes.

Better to use your binoculars for bird watching, it is safer

If you really, really need to be a peeping tom and it is your lifelong dream to become a successful peeping tom, here are some tips to a successful peeping / spying career:

1. Get a really expensive, top of the range binoculars…

2. So that you don’t need to lean out too far…

3. Better not to spy while in a high rise building…

4. But due to lack of choice, and you need to spy while in a high rise building, remember to hold onto the railings

5. Just keep one hand on the binoculars and another on the railing..

6. If you really need to use the hand for some ‘extra action’, go get a bungee jumping rope…

7. And tie it around your waist and secure it to something solid, like the balcony railings

8. But remember to check the length of the rope to make sure it is no longer than the height of the floor you are in…

9. Also learn to tie a secure knot because you don’t want the rope unraveling if you happen to fall off with one hand in the pants and another on the binoculars…

10. Finally, get some fellow peeping tom buddies to spy together so that you could hold onto each other as you take turns spying and peeping

But seriously, you don’t get anything from being a peeping tom. Why not invest in some good camera equipment and start hounding celebrities? As a paparazzi, you’d probably get some $$ outta it. Just think about it:

Peeping Tom - spy on people

Paparazzi - spy on famous people and celebrities

See? Same thing wat. Both also spy on people, only difference is that paparazzi get paid and they spy on famous people, not some boring commoner who may not even be as gorgeous as celebrities.

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This is a very common disease that afflicts many Malaysians, especially those residing within five states including Penang. The signs of this syndrome includes:

1. Consistent awe with the new ‘toilet’ even though there are cracks and dirt that’s apparent

2. A need to check out the ‘toilet’ every day at every single available opportunity

3. Nothing but praises for the ‘toilet’

4. Uncleared shit are categorically ignored

5. Any whiff of stink or unsavoury smells are also ignored

6. Any criticisms against the ‘toilet’ are ignored and the criticiser shot down

7. Blind loyalty to the ‘toilet’

8. The ‘toilet’ is perfect and can do no wrong

9. The ‘toilet’ is always pristine in their mind’s eye

10. The ‘toilet’ is placed on a pedestal and treated like the best thing that ever happened to Malaysia since Merdeka

I wonder when this novelty will wear off but it sure is getting on my nerves. Open adoration may be sickening but blind loyalty combined with open adoration is worse than sickening. It is downright stupid.

So, yes, there are a lot of people suffering from the new toilet syndrome and sadly, there is no cure for it. Only time will show the way and awaken these people to the truth and the shit and the stink. Only then will they realise that new toilet or old toilet, it is all the same. Without proper flushing, it’d still be full of shit and stink.

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Wuah, the Barisan Nasional government is SO good to us. Just think about it.

Suddenly, they decided to allocate millions for Chinese school, a hospital and some community halls (or is it sports compex?).

Also, don’t forget the RM500 windfall for some people and all they need to do is to hand over a photocopy of their MyKad and not bother to step out of their homes on Aug 26. It’s what people generally call ‘telepathic voting’. It’s all a rave nowadays, doncha know?

Then, a non-Bumiputra who supposedly excelled in sports was given a monthly RM3k pension on top of RM300k bonus on top of a title on top of a free flight on an airforce plane, no less. Wah…the BN government really DO NOT marginalise the non-Bumis, look what they are doing for this single non-Bumi. All he need to do is to swing a racket at some chicken feathers and then, of course, show up in the midst of a hot and happening by-election to lend his support to the BN. Hell, if a non-Bumi like him support BN, so should others.

And finally, they reduce 15 sen in petrol price AFTER emphatically stating that there would not be any changes in petrol prices. Talk about springing a surprise on us. But heck, this is 15 sen mind you. It is A LOT of money, I tell you.

It just goes to show how much the BN government cared about us.

Petrol prices down 15 sen

The Barisan Nasional government has no other motive but to serve the people. That’s what they do best. They don’t hand out goodies for no apparent reason.

They are doing this for the people. It is for the good of the people. Really. Seriously.

So, it happens to be the Permatang Pauh by-election now but who cares? It’s not like the BN is all that bothered about it, after all, in their own words, the PKR candidate Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, is merely lying about winning and wresting the government from BN.

They are so confident. Because they cared for us. And all Malaysians simply LOVE the BN.

Why else did we keep voting for them to be the government election after election after election for the past five decades?

Oh, while the BN are at it, I wonder if they will consider giving out RM3k monthly pension to the rest of us too?  I mean why stop at allocations and petrol and a single non-Bumi?

You do care about us, the people on the streets, don’t you? So, it’s not much to ask, right?

Oh, please don’t immediately agree to this…I don’t want you to turn around and suddenly declare that you’ve changed your mind. After all, that’s what you do best. Changing your mind, going back on your words and proving yourself as a dumbass idiot over and over again.

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